Women like surprises. It is well known that one of the best ways to a woman’s heart in a relationship is to show her you’re thinking about her by surprising her with a love note, a box of her favorite cookies, flowers waiting for her at her apartment, etc.
But men are different. Men are not always wooed by the same behaviors that work with women. One of the most common examples is showing up to surprise your boyfriend at work. Women love it. Men tend to not. Showing up at your boyfriend’s work can often lead to tension between the two of you. Here are several reasons that showing up at your boyfriend’s work may be a bad idea.
The Work Crush
The first reason – and the one that women tend to hate the most – is the idea of the “Work Crush.” The work crush is a woman at work that the guy likes liking. In other words, while he may not have any intention of making a move and may not even think about her once he leaves the office, he does have a genuine crush on her that he likes to enjoy when he’s at work.
It’s not good for your relationship if he has a work crush, but it’s not bad. Lots of guys develop it as a way of making the work day a little more bearable. If your boyfriend is trustworthy he won’t do anything that could disrupt your relationship, but he may not want you to surprise him at work so that he can keep up the charade.
The Truth of Dating
Many men want to hide their relationship as long as possible – not because they are ashamed of you. Rather, they hide it because men and women act differently when a relationship ends. Look at it this way:
• When a woman leaves a relationship, guys flock to try to date her before she’s taken.
• When a man leaves a relationship, the women in his life want him to rekindle it with his ex.
Basically, the more women that know he’s taken, the less any will want him even if his relationship ends. That does not mean he expects the relationship to end – just that he wants to keep his options open. Again, it’s not a good thing for the health of your relationship, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing either. It’s just a thing that comes up when couples are unmarried, especially early in the relationship.
He’s Worried He’ll Do Something That Will Piss You Off
Many guys that do care about their girlfriends are constantly worried about losing their trust. Yet no guy acts the same at work as he does at home. So lots of guys see their girlfriend surprise them and then, rather than feel joy, they start thinking back on their entire day and wondering if they did anything that may upset you.
The Bad Reasons
Of course, all of the reasons above are innocuous examples of reasons that a boyfriend may not want to be surprised at work. There are always the less positive reasons, such as he doesn’t have faith in the relationship, is being unfaithful, or says negative things about you behind your back.
But sometimes it is something relatively harmless like the reasons above. Men tend to act differently than women when it comes to being surprised at work. If you are going to surprise him at work, make sure three things are true:
• You have asked him if he’s okay being surprised at work.
• You have met his coworkers so they know you well.
• You have been together for a while and the health of your relationship is strong.
If all of those are true, then surprising him at work may be a fun idea. If not, it might be too risky, since most guys simply do not like those types of surprises.