Tracy McMillan wrote a colorful article on the Huffington Post detailing the reasons that scores of women everywhere are not married. These reasons make a simple list:
1. You’re a Bitch
2. You’re Shallow
3. You’re a Slut
4. You’re a Liar
5. You’re Selfish
And the final clincher: You’re Just Not Good Enough.
I was raised like most in my generation to expect to be married when Mr. Right came along. I thought I met him and ended up in a nightmare that took me several years to escape. Since then I’ve became much more cautious when it comes to the male population.
In the almost 10 years I’ve been divorced I’ve had one serious relationship that I left when it was obvious the gentleman had some deal-breaker issues. We parted amicably and still even chat on occasion, and while I still think of him fondly I am thankful that I did not rush into marriage with this person–it would have ended in divorce once I discovered more about him.
Men tend to lie and play games when it comes to seeking a mate and personally I have no time for the lies, the instant “love,” the little black books or the temper tantrums. Most males in the game don’t make it past the first couple of dates as a result. I am seeking honesty and friendship first and a possible relationship later–and most guys want to jump in the sack shortly after saying hello!
Perhaps one day I will meet a gentleman who is perfect for me but until then I pay my own bills and take care of my own business. I have resolved to be perfectly content and enjoy my time as a single woman in her 40’s rather than stress over the fact that Mr. Right has been delayed. I also refuse to settle for Mr. Obviously Wrong or compromise my morals by sleeping around with everyone who takes me out to dinner.
If this determination not to repeat the mistakes of my past means that I’m not good enough, that I’m a selfish bitch because I won’t fall in bed with every guy I meet then I gladly accept that label; however it sounds like the writer has some serious issues with her singleness that she may need to address before she is able to find someone and settle down.
While she is busy denigrating those of us who are still single I shall be happily living my life, content with what I have. Perhaps I shall meet someone but who knows? If and unless that happens I am definitely not going to beat myself and other single women up over the situation.
I am confident that there are other singles out there who are alone for the exact same reason: caution. These women should be praised for their determination to enter a good marriage or none at all; not denigrated and reviled by someone bitter in their solitude.