It’s amazing how the first one of your friends to give relationship advice is always the same friend who remains single after being dumped by relationship number thirty-five, over-weight and in-denial, has no career or money, and spends virtually every night watching Twilight for the twentieth time and re-runs of Sex in the City for hours while cheese dribbles down their jawline as a result of devouring four plates of sloppy nachos and loathing in their own body funk accumulated from a bathless weekend. Ah yes, you know who you are!
These are the friends that are the first to advise a girl or guy in a relationship that “Your man should be doing this” or “That girl is so out of shape, you can do better” or “He gave you what for Christmas?”
Aside from the usual triggers of a break-up: alcohol/drug addiction, infidelity, physical violence; you know, all the normal stuff, unsolicited advice from a single friend is the most dangerous answer to whether or not you should remain in a relationship.
Being single is not a miserable existence by any means. I have been single, (I like to refer to it as an “unable to see things her way” challenge) for about eight months and appreciate every minute. But for some reason, masses of single people despise seeing friend’s content in a relationship and sometimes implant subliminal inklings, unintentionally of course, in the mind of couples sparking controversy over something their significant other did, is doing or will possibly, almost certainly, may or may not do in the future.
A world packed with experts
Friends morph into psychotherapists, marriage counselors, attorneys, social workers, doctors and general life genesis’s at the slightest inclination that frustration exists in someone else’s relationship. They feel obligated to analyze the situation, offering their “professional” advice on how to fix the weak areas of the relationship to ensure a blossoming future.
Now my “Professional Advice”
Evade this advice at all cost, people. Nothing good can come out of it.
A good friend will sit and listen to an issue, offering an abundance of support but very little advice on how to overcome the issue. This is ok.
But that same good friend, after a few glasses of wine, becomes Dr. Phil and all of a sudden you are back at home telling your significant other just how irritating he/she really is when chewing food like a horse with no teeth or how potato chips are no longer allowed in the house because the crunching drives you crazy. Oh, and that little thing you do while kissing my neck, it’s not that great.
This is not ok.
Only the individuals that make up the couple can fix a broken relationship. Seeking counseling is always an option for troubled relationships and proves to be effective for many couples, but the choice is ultimately the couples.
Taking a friends advice and using that as the gospel to navigate through a relationship; well, that is just asking for a lifetime of nights chillin’ with the single friend on the sofa, taking cell phone pics while symboling the peace sign with your fingers and pretending that your recent break-up with your ex who may not have really been that bad really was YOUR decision.
If you are lucky, your friend will share the sloppy nachos.