All of us, as normal human beings, feel the need to be comforted and hugged. We all need that support when something happens, or an emotional loss is felt, or a financial setback is experienced, and so forth. If one has a special friend, or a partner, or significant other, then it would be safe to assume that one’s comforting and supporting needs are being met.
Who is a Friend?
So what if one’s needs are not being met, but instead their need for support rejected, and they got blasted out for bothering the person with their problems and their needs? Then, know at that point, that this is not a friend, but is a leech that feels for some dysfunctional reason, that they are entitled to extract every single bit of emotion, attention, and love possible in order to feed their long suffering pain caused by them knowing what they are. It is at this point that you should walk away, and have no further sympathy for this person. They will never sympathize with you, for they are not capable of doing so.
Constantly taking on another’s problems, working harder to squeeze time in to help them, and spreading oneself too thinly to do things for them; and then in a time of need they are not available clearly means that this person is not a friend. This is a narcissistic person who has no other interests except their own, and will drain anyone emotionally, physically, and in any way possible.
What is a Loving Relationship?
A loving relationship is one wherein two people agree to love each other and be friends as well as loving partners. When the scales are unbalanced and one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking than is not a loving relationship. That is a destructive relationship and the taker takes more and more; and the giver becomes more beaten down, and eventually loses his/her dignity, character, and pride.
How to Help Oneself?
One now finds oneself at a crossroad. They can continue being the loving person and risk accumulating grief and heartache along the way; or they can become like other people who are cold and manipulative.
The best advice is to ignore the crossroad and turn back. Return, ignoring everyone who participated in betrayal and deception. If you have no expectations, then you will have no disappointments. Seek your happiness from within. Get closer to God. Get back in touch with your spiritual self. Cling tightly to your children. Teach your children about your experiences. Teach them to always hold God’s hand, and if anyone comes into their life that causes them to consider losing that grasp of God’s hand, then that person is not for them.
How to Protect One’s Children from the Users and Abusers?
It is so easy to say goodbye to someone you just met before they can beguile you with their charms. Learn and teach your children how to recognize the users and abusers in this world. Learn and teach your children the warning signs, and tell them to not to walk away from these users and abusers but to run. Learn and teach your children to have complete and profound Faith in God, develop and strengthen their spiritual being, and build their sense of self-esteem, so that they can be happy and comfortable with them self and by them self if necessary.
The rejects of society prey on the loneliness of others. Learn and teach your children how to be alone and not lonely. If you love yourself and love God, then you will always be loved by the best there is. Give all of your heartache and troubles to God, and go to sleep. God is going to be up all night anyway.