This will probably be the easiest article I’ve ever written and the only research and reference materials I need are right inside of my heart and my mind. I have three wonderful sons. If they were not the young men that they were, I would not be the woman that I am right now.
I thought that when I got married it would be forever. I envisioned a perfect little life with mother, father and children. Unfortunately, life often does not go the way we plan and I decided that divorce was my best option. Was it easy being a single mother? No, because the entire job of child-rearing was mine alone, as was the financial aspect. I had to be both a man and a woman and a mother and father. By the time, the father re-entered the picture, beyond paying child support, my sons were teens and their formative years had been mine to handle alone.
Being the mother of sons, I often wondered how I could, as a woman, teach three boys how to be men, but somehow I did it. I worked two jobs most of the time, purchased and maintained a home and completed college as a single mother. I could do this only because my older sons helped with the younger one and also because they were such good, trouble-free boys, who grew up to be decent men.
Observing couples trying to raise children, I noticed that one parent often usurps the authority of the other and sometimes couples can’t agree on child-rearing techniques. The mother will tell the child one thing and the father will say something else. Children are often confused by this rift and some children will learn to use this disparity to their advantage by manipulating the parents or pitting once against the other. As a single parent, you don’t have this divide. You are the sole authority and your word is law. On the other hand, when the kids misbehave, you can’t threaten them with “I’m going to tell your father!”, so a single mother must be a strong disciplinarian.
Another aspect of being a single mom is that my sons and I are good friends. There was no vying for my sole attention because I was busy with a mate. They had my undivided attention most of the time. I tried dating and had two serious relationships when my kids were young and while it wasn’t horrible, it did not go well and I finally decided to remain relationship-free, for the most part, until my youngest son was out of high school.
I made mistakes. I was far from the perfect mother and didn’t always do things the right way, but I believe that I was a good mother and it shows in the men that my sons are today and in the wonderful relationship I have with all three of them and that they have with each other.
Being a single mom made me a better person because I had other people to worry about besides myself. My children gave me rhyme and reason in a world that often lacked both. They gave me a reason to find strength when I thought that I had none left and a reason to keep pushing forward when all I wanted to do was give up.
I thank my three sons. Being a single mom was the best thing that could have every happened to me. Being a single mother made me stronger and I think it made them stronger as well because we had to rely on each other. Just as I helped to make them who they are today; they did the same thing for me.