You try and try. Nothing changes. What do you do next? You ask yourself “what can I do now?” You simply just want a peace of mind about things but all you get is worry.
I’m going to tell you three things to do when you don’t know what to do, when you have tried everything and nothing changes. You have laid awake at night trying to think of a way to make something happen, what you could say, what your could do. You constantly rephrase the words in your head over and over hoping to find just the right combination of words that will make a difference. You play out different scenes in your head. You are emotionally drained and emotionally exhausted.
I know it’s cliche but its true. Sometimes some doors close in our life because there is something better waiting. You put all your time, thoughts, and energy in trying to open door number one when the best option is actually behind door number two. Your focus is so centered on door number one that you sometimes don’t even notice door number two. There have been times in my own life that I am so grateful that door number one didn’t open. Sometimes it is only after giving up on door number one out of desperation and emotional exhaustion that I will finally even get around to noticing door number two. A lightbulb will go off and I will be so grateful that door number one didn’t work out, because door number two is so much better. This can apply to many areas in life such as personal relationships, professional relationships, career choices, home environment, family fun, and personal growth.
Lowering the bar or is it specializing?
Sometimes I realize that my expectations are unrealistic. It’s unrealistic to think we can do it all or be everything to everyone. Or maybe we can do it all in time but not all at once. We are only human after all. Average and calm is better than chaos and stress any day of the week. Sometimes simplifying your life sounds as if you might miss something or miss an opportunity. Nobody is the best at everything. So cut yourself some slack and everyone else. Relax and enjoy things instead of worrying about who is the best. Instead of trying to be great at everything you can focus on enjoying a few special things. So even though you may feel like you are lowering the bar you are actually just specializing.
Accept what you can’t change
It can really take a load off my shoulders when I finally accept the fact that some things are out of my control. I can’t control other people but I can control my reactions and my thoughts. Try to focus on what you can change instead of what you can’t.
You can’t persuade someone who doesn’t want to be persuaded. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. You can’t spend all of your time thinking about the way you wanted things to be or the way things should have been. You have to accept that is the way it is. It’s the first step to a peace of mind about things.
If you have given something your best then it is good enough. And you are really the only one who truly knows this. It doesn’t matter if you were first or the best. Did you give it your best? Did you enjoy it? Did you make a good memory? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you have succeeded in changing something. Your perspective.