Most of us know at least one married couple that dated for so long that everyone assumed that they would never tie the knot. Of course most of us also know a few women that finally left their man after a steady string of promises of marriage, that never materialized. So, how does a woman who is waiting to get married decide if her man is secretly hoping to remain a bachelor or if he is just slow moving when it comes to marriage. Based on hundreds of stories from women who grew tired of the marriage waiting game, the crew at LuvemOrLeavem has put together a list of the 5 most common warning signs that a man is not serious about wanting to get married.
1. Asking Has Been Replaced With Begging- Once a woman starts doing some serious hinting about getting married, it can be hard to realize that conversations about marriage have been replaced by begging and pleading. Even smart, strong women who are used to demanding rather than begging for what they want in other aspects of life, somehow fall into a trap where they are begging a man to marry them. Once you discover that you’ve been reduced to begging, this relationship is no longer a healthy place to be, and it is time to move on.
2. It’s Never the “Right Time”- It sounds so mature and responsible when a man tells you that he will ask you to marry him as soon as “the time is right,” but this is often just a stalling tactic. Over the years we’ve heard all of the “it isn’t the right time” excuses. They’ve ranged from men waiting for that big promotion at work, to one man who wanted his brother to have enough time to get over his divorce before having to go to another wedding.
People manage to tie the knot during less than perfect circumstances all the time. Nearly every member of the clergy has a story about a bride or groom who had to hobble down the aisle after breaking a leg or having a serious injury shortly before their wedding. Remember these couples when you’re evaluating whether or not there will ever be a right time in his mind.
3. The Trial Period- Men who want to get married are men that propose. They don’t try to find a way to delay things by recommending that you have a trial period of living together “just to make sure we’re compatible.” We get letters from women all the time who agreed to these trial periods and they’ve all either left the relationship or are now many, many years into that trial period.
4. Engaged But No Wedding Date is Set- Some men discover that presenting a women with a diamond ring can be the king of all stalling tactics. If a man has enough money, he can often get several years worth of stall time with a very large diamond. If you’ve been engaged for more than a few months and you still don’t have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle are steadily decreasing the longer this engagement continues without moving forward with definite wedding plans.
5. The Wedding Has Been Rescheduled- This situation often starts out with a wedding date that is set for years into the future. As the date gets closer (close enough to start making real plans) the date suddenly gets moved further into the future. Let’s face it, in all parts of life we tend to reschedule things that we’re not looking forward to (like going to the dentist) and we keep or move up the dates for those things that we really want to do. If your long engagement was rescheduled as soon as it got close enough to start putting down deposits with wedding halls, caterers, etc, then he is sending you a message that he does not intend to go through with this wedding.
So, there are the 5 most common signs that he’s not serious about wanting to get married. Some of them are harder to recognize than others, but all of them are hard to admit to yourself when you have been waiting to hear those wedding bells. Once you find yourself in any of these 5 scenarios, then your time and energy is better spent finding a new man who is ready to commit to you, rather than waiting around for your current man to walk down the aisle with you.