Stay-at-home moms often suffer from feelings of guilt when they require time alone or when they want to do something simply for themselves. Guilty feelings can cause a mother to never take a much needed respite to relax and rejuvenate. Overcoming such emotions often proves difficult for a mom who focuses her whole life on her child or children. Everyone needs time to themselves. Taking only an hour or two per week to do grown up things can dramatically raise the mother’s patience level and improve her parenting ability. Here are a few tips to help a mom overcome her guilty feelings.
1) The days can quickly roll into weeks before a mother realizes that she has done nothing alone or with another adult in a very long time. Craving someone to share an adult conversation with is normal and healthy. A busy, working dad is often too tired to communicate adequately with his wife when he comes home from a long day at work or the office. Most men simply want to grab a bite to eat and relax with the children until bedtime. This can leave mom feeling alone and isolated with very little adult interaction.
Find a babysitter to come to the house and watch the little ones for a much needed respite with your husband or even to take time by yourself. An evening of dining with hubby can help rejuvenate a marriage that often finds itself sitting on the back burner when it comes to the children.
If unable to go out with your husband than head out with a friend. Its amazing how much better you will feel after two hours of sitting in a restaurant and simply relaxing with another adult.
2) Moms often become lax in their overall appearance. The days of blitzing to the hairstylist or nail salon every two weeks becomes all too sporadic or completely cease when children arrive. The justification of spending so much money on such a luxury can even bring on feelings of guilt. Overcome the guilt and simply indulge. Find someone to watch the little ones for an afternoon so you can enjoy a simple day of beauty all to yourself. It will remind you for your single days, childless days and can even spur old feelings of confidence.
3) Shopping with babies or toddlers can be a nightmare for mom. It becomes something to be dreaded at all cost. Many parents undertake shopping as a joint effort on a weekend day when the store is fairly empty so they can run in and run out with only a minimal toddler tantrum display.
Let yourself imagine, for a little while what it was once like to shop. Shopping used to be fun. Browsing through the store and even taking time to try on clothes. Now it feels like a marathon race that must be completed as quickly as possible. Shopping with two toddlers can leave you feeling exhausted after less than one hour
Find someone to watch the little ones and head out to shop by yourself. Even if its just the simple act of grocery shopping it can be a time to take a deep breath and move slowly when you are alone. You can actually allow yourself to people watch without worrying if others are staring in disapproval because your child is throwing a temper tantrum. You can look around you with the peace of mind that there is no huge display of emotions being broadcast to the world. You can simply step back and breath while you shop. The feeling can become addictive for many moms and they find themselves desiring at least a once a week shopping trip to simply regain their sanity and enjoy themselves.
Allowing yourself simple mommy time makes you a better mom in the long run. It allows you to refocus on yourself for a little while which makes you less stressed out and more able to deal with the day to day events of parenting. There should be no guilt when it comes to taking mommy alone time. Everyone needs time to themselves to simply be themselves.