Will Rogers, once noted that “All I know is what I read in the papers”. And in a salute to Will Rogers, here is what is in “the papers”.
Why you insist on references:
AP Headline: Handyman admits to killing at least 8 Mass. women
Quote of the Day:
“As soon as I saw the squirrel, I knew I needed backup immediately,” when a police officer saw a squirrel in a lady’s toilet.
Another deficit cutting plan from Washington. You see we borrow money and ….
Obama has a new plan. “It would cut workers’ share of Social Security taxes by nearly one-third for 2011. Workers making $50,000 in wages would get a $1,000 tax cut; those making $100,000 would get a $2,000 tax cut.
The government would borrow about $112 billion to make Social Security whole. “
As if England didn’t have enough problems:
AP Headline: Pastor who threatened to burn Quran plans UK visit
A sure guarantee that we will see him in Iowa
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says there is “no way, no how” that he will run for president of the United States…”
Why you hang onto business cards..
“Pakistani authorities have arrested a doctor on suspicion of violating the country’s contentious blasphemy law by throwing away a business card of a man who shared the name of Islam’s prophet, Muhammad, police said Sunday. ..”
Next time give the Captain a speaking part…
“More than 600 passengers and crew were expected to be stuck on a showboat overnight after high winds caused the vessel to run aground Saturday on a Missouri lake, officials said…”
But ten TSA agents asked her for a date..
Yesterday, wearing only a black bra and panties, a 52-year-old woman who uses a wheelchair missed her flight out of Oklahoma City. She failed the security screening.
Oh come on – my ex wives said the same thing years ago
AP Headline: ‘I’m not a witch’ picked as top quote of year
Restoring my faith in Congress
“We have to pass the (health care) bill so you can find out what is in it.” Nancy Pelosi, speech to National Association of Counties, March 9.
It worked so well for General Custer
“Don’t retreat. Instead – reload!” Sarah Palin, Tweet, March 23.
Signs that God is a Brett Favre fan:
“Metrodome officials told the league Sunday the roof wouldn’t be ready to play Monday or Tuesday, a delay that gives Vikings quarterback Brett Favre more time to heal his sprained shoulder and extend his NFL-record streak of 297 straight starts.”