My sister died unexpectedly nine years ago. She was the mother of three small children. I had great difficulty reconciling her death. A friend gave me a journal knowing that it could help me to organize my thoughts. Initially, I didn’t feel like I could find the time or the energy to do it, especially since my mind was full of roller coaster emotions. I was sure that I could not put into words accurately enough how I truly felt. However, I found myself one night making an attempt. It was interesting that I did, in fact, have a lot to say'”pent up emotions that needed to be spelled out. It was not a homework project, so there was no pressure. It was just for ME. There was no wrong answer. You don’t have to worry about grammar or misspelled words. Journaling proved to have healing powers and it was an ultimate avenue to organize my thoughts and emotions'”extremely valuable.
I wrote a page’s worth the first night. It was, however, a powerful first page. I realized that journaling was going to be an excellent way to organize my thoughts that had seemed so rampant. In addition, I decided to keep two journals. One was for my deepest emotions. The other was a “Happy Journal” where I wrote down small pleasures from the day'”the small moments that provide pleasure. It forced me to be aware of looking for the tiny moments in life that bring about delight. I was becoming aware that, in spite of my pain, the world was still a wonderful place. I documented it every day. I began looking forward to my journal time each night. The grief process involves baby steps, but if you allow yourself the slow walk down the complicated path of grieving then there is hope to be whole. It is a process that cannot be rushed.
Journaling allows you to come to terms with any type of stressful events in your life that need to be addressed. It is ultimately an avenue as an aid for your own emotional and physical health. It could help to reduce headaches and high blood pressure and induce good levels of sleep. You’ve already worked out your troubles on paper. It is imperative that you pour your emotions out honestly'”your inner most thoughts so that you can examine all the feelings and find a way with which to deal in every day life. It can be a catharsis and a journey of self-discovery. Writing it out is an honest avenue to finding peaceful resolution. It is a cleansing of the mind and an opportunity to clear out the clutter in your conscious and subconscious mind.
I would advise that you try to write for at least thirty minutes a day for as many days in a row as you can allow for yourself'”whatever is the most comfortable for you. Concentrate on each issue that is bothering you, as you examine the negative and positive emotions. Read back over what you have written and reflect on it. Typically, the words that you first spill forth are the ones that are the most expressive and are a good gauge for the true emotions in your heart and soul.
“Writing it out” can help you find perspective in your life. This new found knowledge will ultimately aid you when you’re ready to face the world without your loss loved one. You’ll have a better attitude and positive reinforcement in your own mind. It can help you to recover and move on. Research has proven that people who journal regularly find that symptoms of depression are decreased as a result.
It is also interesting to be able to look back over previous writings to see the progress that you have made through adversity while your heart hurts, but you see that there is hope for moving forward — .to a bright future of hope —
In addition, I began writing a novel called Tapestry'”a novella about the healing of the soul. It is about someone who is afraid to love because she’s had loss in her life. The main character, Olivia, journals at the end of each chapter. In addition to my personal journaling, the writing of Tapestry proved just as cathartic and kept my mind occupied. Ultimately, the realization at the end is that in the great “tapestry of life,” we must embrace the knots and learn from them. It ultimately makes the gold and silver threads that much more beautiful. You’re far more aware of the good aspects of life'”a good place to be. Thanks to the beauty of being able to write out my innermost emotions, I was able to find a way for my hurting heart to heal. I’m certain that my sister would be pleased, as well.
