“The Bachelor”, “The Bachelorette”, and now “The Bachelor Pad” series have opened doors for many people who might not have otherwise had those opportunities afforded to them. The same could be said for David Good, who appeared on Jillian Harris’s season of “The Bachelorette” and who, with partner Natalie Getz, won the first season of “The Bachelor Pad”. He has released his first book entitled “The Man Code: A Woman’s Guide to Cracking the Tough Guy”.
I was interested in reading this book for one reason: This was probably the only contestant on any of the “Bachelor” shows who for one show was Hyde but the next was Jekyll. I remember in more than vague detail that I didn’t particularly like him on “The Bachelorette”. On “The Bachelor Pad”, I expected more of the same vulgar language and general distasteful actions that I’d seen before. Not so that time. Although Good was still fiercely determined and stubborn in his beliefs on “The Bachelor Pad”, the complete jerk he’d been before was over. So when I’d heard that he’d written “The Man Code”, which I remembered him mentioning on the show, I was skeptical but oddly interested.
Did he have any clue he was a jerk?
It was one of the questions that had popped into my head the moment I began reading the book and it was answered in the first chapter. “I was behaving badly and acting as though I had no code of conduct at all,” he wrote about his time on Jillian Harris’s season of “The Bachelorette”. “What caused my behavior? I’d say some combination of immaturity, testosterone, alcohol and boredom.” He also went on to say that he’d apologized to those close to him and the reason he came back to “The Bachelor Pad” was to redeem himself and represent The Man Code for what it should be.
A Woman’s Perspective
I can’t fault the book on any technical premise. It was well thought, outlined properly, and was interesting and easy to read. It takes quite a bit to keep my attention with a non-fiction book and the fact that it did impressed me.
There were a few small issues that I needed to point out from a woman’s perspective, though.
In Chapter 3 “Where Have All the Man Code Men Gone?”, Good talks about how young women are earning more than their male counterparts. I will argue this point until I die, women in the workforce are still not being paid as much as men. Time.com’s (a partner of CNN) Laura Fitzpatrick reported last April about the gap between men and women’s pay in “Why do women still earn less than men?” . The article even points out that transgender women who transition to men earn 1.5% more than they did as women.
Anyone who watched Jillian Harris’s season of “The Bachelorette” knows that Good had a problem with Juan Barbieri and Jake Palveka. He mentions those instances in the book and even goes so far as to take small digs at Jake in a couple of other passages. So he doesn’t like them and that’s fine. But then he mentions what a stand-up guy Jesse Kovacs was and how his little group on “The Bachelor Pad” were Man Code men. This is where the Man Code goes into gray territory for me. I saw Jesse Kovacs as a man who was being pulled by the controlling and slightly mentally imbalanced Elizabeth Kitt. She was in love with him and in turn, he was afraid of pissing her off so he strung her along. Is it Man Code to watch one of your circle of guys leading a woman along like that and think it’s okay? I guess this goes back to Jake Palveka informing Jillian Harris that Wes Hayden had a girlfriend. I suppose as a woman, I fail to understand how these highly chivalristic Man Code men can sit around and watch a woman be lead on or mistreated. That’s one aspect I apparently don’t get, even after reading “The Man Code”.
In one final thought on this part of it, I think Good needs to give the viewing audience of “The Bachelor”, “The Bachelorette”, and “The Bachelor Pad” a little more credit. Most of the viewers know there’s editing involved and that entertainment is the name of the game. We know perception is distorted because of this, but as Good, himself, wrote about his time on “The Bachelorette”, “I provided the ammunition for my portrayal.” It’s amazing how different things can look when you compress 2 hours into 3 minutes but in another respect, if he hadn’t behaved that way, he wouldn’t have been portrayed that way.
Don’t Settle for Less
Okay, for having been impressed with the book over all, the above points seem rather inclusive. But keep in mind, there was only 3 points to a 93 page book.
There were places in the book that were humorous, my favorite line being, “Never trust a man who could own a dog but chooses to own a cat instead. And for that matter, never trust a single man who owns a dog smaller than a typical cat,” which is under the subheading “He’s Not a Man Code Man if He…”. I also thought it was rather cute that the two times Good used foul language in the book, he pardoned himself.
In general, I understood what Good was trying to get across, the theme being that he wished more women would stop lowering themselves to taking whatever man will have them rather than having a standard for themselves. More women should demand high respect from their partners instead of choosing someone who lacks conviction. They should choose a Man Code man. I couldn’t agree more.
Is it worth buying?
Yes. It’s highly thought out, comprehensive, and insightful. In it, you will read how “the good guy” really views women and what they want in a partner. It will provide you insight on how Man Code men think, how women can decode their actions, and what you should never try to change about them.
You can order a copy at “The Man Code” website here. While you’re there, you can read Good’s blog and read excerpts from the book.
Source: E-book copy of “The Man Code: A Woman’s Guide to Cracking the Tough Guy”, IBSN 098433634-6