The Wold According to Homer:
Homer Simpson is a legend. Over 20 years Homer J Simpson has been espousing his grand philosophy on life, relationships, knowledge and beer. Read some of the wit and wisdom of the genius of the 20th and 21st centuries.
The Homer Simpson Samples from the Tree of Knowledge
* Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
* They have the Internet on computers, now?
* This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!
* Do I know what rhetorical means?
* You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on EVERY CAR!
* The girls of the internet. Ooh, I’d go online with them anyday!
* Rock stars … is there anything they don’t know?
* I can’t believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
* I want to share something with you – the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, ‘cover for me.’Number two, ‘oh, good idea, boss. ‘Number three, ‘it was like that when I got here.
* Internet! Is that thing still around?
Homer Truly Understands the Human Condition and the Social Interactions of Interpersonal Relationships
* Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
* Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
* Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
* Kids, kids. As far as Daddy’s concerned, you’re both potential murderers.
* Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!
* Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel
* Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.
* Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
* In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women!
* Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Homer Simpson is far more than just a bastion of knowledge and a great natural philosopher. To understand more of this great man check out the next articles in the series:
Part II: Homer Simpson more Tony Robbins than Tony Robbins
Part III: Homer Simpson Stud Muffin