The first kiss between two people is special. It is sometimes planned (at least by one of the two involved) and sometimes a spontaneous act. If a relationship lasts it becomes a treasured memory and a starting point of sorts. For this, the moment your lips meet, is the moment that perhaps unspoken feelings become expressed. At the very least, the kiss says, “I’m attracted.” The first kiss can also say, “You could be the one. Let’s find out.” The confusion comes afterward of course, as you lie on your respective beds (hopefully respective because a first kiss is something altogether different if you end up in the same bed afterward) staring at the ceiling feeling blissful and nervous and wondering what it meant to you and what it meant to them.
I have no authority to make up rules for a first kiss. But I married at thirty-five and from the age of twelve to thirty-two I had many first kisses and six long relationships. So I guess I have enough experience (and some success) with first kisses to give a bit of advice.
1. Trust your instincts. Don’t kiss people that you are not attracted to. If you look at their mouth and something inside says no, respect that feeling. If he or she is a great person definitely go out at least twice to make sure an attraction doesn’t start up but it’s not fair to kiss people and let them think you are attracted when you’re not. Trust me; this will make your life simpler.
2. Let the man kiss the woman. Unless it’s a soft kiss on the cheek don’t be the instigator of the first kiss if you’re a woman. If you want to let him know that it’s okay to kiss you, then touch his arm, gently brush something off of his clothing, lean in a little and smile into his eyes. He should get the message but if he doesn’t it’s either not the right time or not the right man.
3. This is basic but just a reminder. Fresh breath is sexy. Food breath and cigarette breath isn’t. So carry mints and brush your teeth.
4. Chapped lips are also not so sexy.
5. The mood is more important than the place. The end of a date is okay but a little cliche. Is this maybe the one? Again, trust your instincts. Are your eyes meeting and speaking more than your words? Maybe this is the right moment. Go from eyes, and then take her hand. Touch her.
6. Start the kiss with a soft touch to the face. The woman or the man can start the kiss this way but if he doesn’t take it from there move back and change the subject.
7. Continue the kiss with a soft kiss. Or two or three or more soft kisses. Soft can turn into something more passionate but start soft. Make sure your partner is responding before continuing.
8. After the kiss, smile. You don’t have to say anything but something like “that was nice,” or “you taste good” or even “yum” will show your appreciation or admiration. Hopefully, this kiss is just the first of many.