When it comes to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend things can get…well, complicated. When you go into a new relationship things seem to get even more fuzzy and then there comes a point where you have to decide if you should still be in contact with your ex. While this decision is something that is determined based on your own unique situations, here I will describe some of the reasons why you should or should not stay in touch with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Reasons to cut it off
The reasons for why someone may decide to cut their ties with an ex-boyfriend all depends on three things 1.) Your previous relationship and 2.) The reason for breaking up 3.) Are you in a new relationship?
1)If your relationship with your ex consisted of constant fighting, lying, and cheating, then it is probably best to cut ties. If there was something that this person did to you on a constant basis that just was not good or made you feel bad or less than your best, there is no need in keeping this negative energy in your life.
2) If you broke up with each other on harsh terms such as cheating going on or just being wronged in anyway, it is probably best to end things there. You do not want to be friends with someone who treated you badly. There is a high chance that you probably will not benefit anything from you two staying friends.
3) If you are in a new relationship this could also mix things up. How does your new partner feel about you contacting your ex. While ultimately it is your decision, this is something that should be discussed with your new partner. If you do not consider this decision with your new partner this could possibly be detrimental to your new relationship, so keep this in mind as well.
Reasons to stay friends
While there are many reasons why people should not befriend their exes, there are also some good reasons for why some people do remain friends with their exes. Those reasons are because, 1.)they developed a great friendship 2.) They grew apart 3.) Abide by the new relationships rules
1) While there are some relationships that are heavily dependent on the sexual elements of it, there are usually great friendships that grow out of relationships. If you had a great friendship with this person outside of your relationship then that is a great reason to keep in touch, as long as the feelings are platonic with one another.
2) All relationships do not have to necessarily end on a bad note, and therefore there can still be a friendship there in the end, that is of course if the feelings are platonic with both parties. Otherwise it can get messy fairly quickly.
3) When you are in a new relationship, the ex now has to abide by the rules of your new relationship. That means no more late night phone calls, one on one dinner dates, and whatever else you and/or your partner feels is inappropriate behavior to be in a relationship. If they do not cross the line on their boundaries, they should be just fine.
Relationships are hard enough without having to incorporate unnecessary baggage into it. If you feel like you want to stay friends with your ex, be sure to weigh the consequences and be sure that you are actually benefiting from that arrangement. If not you could be inviting in a whole other element of stress. J