If you frequent social gatherings and you like talking to people then you have probably had a few experiences that were less than pleasant. Did you walk away thinking, “O my god, is that the best I can do” or “what the heck, why even come out if you’re going to be captain insane-o chick?” the second installment of The Dating game deals with approaching women who seem to be UN-approachable.
One key thing you should remember as a general rule, if she didn’t want to be talked to or seen, she would have stayed home. So if you are there, and she is there, wherever that may be, then you have a chance. A lot of times men will approach a lady thinking that they don’t stand a chance, or maybe she is gorgeous and you get the feeling like she is out of your league, if you are thinking that then don’t waste your time. She will pick up on it, and she won’t like it. Often times what happens is the club or social scene gets boring, single women and single men frequent the same spots over and over again and it gets a little monotonous. Many single women are thrilled with what is new and exciting because its uncharted territory, they crave something that they haven’t experienced before. So when you spot the woman sitting near the bar looking like she just choked on a lemon, she could be thinking, “I only see one man in here that doesn’t look like the same ol’ shade of gray,” and that man could be YOU.
When approaching someone who doesn’t seem all that receptive to company I prefer to be creative with how I approach her, and what I say when I do. Your goal is to grab her attention and hold it long enough to show her that you are not completely boring, avoid the formal greetings if at all possible, “Hi my name is ___ just sounds like the same old routine. Complimenting her for something she has on that is hardly noticeable may surprise her, also, making a comment about yourself that would encourage her to respond is another way to work down her defenses. Try both, either way you should be able to figure out if she is more interested in hearing about herself, or if she is genuinely curious about you. Once you figure out what her strengths are, play to them.
Other women like going out to social venues but may feel that most men that frequent them are jerks or creeps. When approaching a women who feels this way, you may receive skeptical looks, or she will not try to hide the fact that she is judging you in every way as she looks at you. This can be very intimidating and a lot of guys will back down. It is imperative that you UN-creepify yourself early on. When you initiate the conversation, make sure that you identify yourself in a way that she can relate, mention something about yourself that makes her think,
“O I have heard of that place,
or, ahh, I was just there on Tuesday,
and not, OMG I’m sitting next to the subway serial killer!
It always helps to look your best; it may be that you have seen a certain lady several times at the same place and never approached her. Don’t pick the night that you get a black eye in a bar fight to approach her, you could get thrown across the bar and land head first in her lap, she might look down at you bruised and bleeding and fall in love, but this isn’t generally how it happens. If you are on friendly terms with the person, make it a point to add a little flair to your appearance, she may comment on it, hopefully in a good way, and that is just the conversation starter you may need.
Always remember that every chick that goes out is not looking to get picked up, don’t make more out of it than it really is. You don’t need to get loud and obnoxious, please don’t ruin the vibe by calling the lady stuck up because she turned you down, more than likely another beautiful women is across the room who digs you so don’t spoil it with her over someone you never had a chance with anyway. At the very least you gain valuable experience conversing with people who may be difficult to interact with. Remember your past experiences and use them to your advantage, sooner or later it won’t seem like there are UN-approachable people at all, and if you get really good at it, then they may be the one’s approaching you.