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The Best Quotes of “The Office:” Season Two

by tree pony

“The Office” has the most creative writers in the television sitcom genre which will help when Steve Carell starts a new chapter in his career and Michael Scott leaves the show with him. The interactions among “The Office” staff produce some of the most side splitting quotes ever heard on TV. The following are the ten best quotes and interactions among “The Office” characters in season two.

No.10. “Booze Cruise” Episode Leaves One Party Goer All Wet

The “Booze Cruise” on the Lake Wallenpaupack was intended to be a motivational evening but everything ends up being side tracked by an overbearing Captain Jack and other various goings on aboard “The Princess.” This leads Michael to tell everyone the ship is sinking and the captain ties him to a pole.

Michael Scott: “What is with the guy jumping overboard? If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now, and not all wet.”

No.9. Michael Scott Explains Reverse Psychology

“The Office” episode of “Christmas Party has many funny scenes but Michael Scott’s interpretation of reverse psychology is one of his best quotes of season two.

Michael: “Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don’t know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.”

No.8. Dwight is Nosy and Well Informed About Yeast Infections

The episode titled “Email Surveillance” brings another of Dwight’s strange hobbies into the light.

Dwight: “I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up any one’s psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections… there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we”re downriver… from that old bread factory.”

No.7. Dwight is All About Loyalty

Dwight is always good for an off beat quote or uncomfortable moment in “The Office.” Dwight has always professed his loyalty for Michael Scott but there is always the underlying doubt as to what Dwight is actually thinking. This quote from the episode “Halloween” lays it out perfectly.

Dwight: “Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.”

No.6. “The Fire” Episode Leads to Discussion of Equality in the Workplace

The episode titled “The Fire” gets everyone out of “The Office” and into the parking lot. The episode has plenty of classic interactions as the staff passes the time but the best quote is in regards to exiting the building. Michael explains why the expression, “women and children first” does not apply to Dunder Mifflin.

Michael: “Yes, I’ve heard ‘women and children first’, but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace, by law, so if I let them out first… I have a lawsuit on my hands.”

No.5. “Christmas Party” is Another Classic Episode With a Classic Michael Scott Quote

Michael becomes frustrated with his unraveling “Christmas Party” which leads him to utter this classic line in frustration.

Michael: “Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that any one’s ever done for these people and they freak-out. Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party’s so lame.”

No.4. Michael Explains How He Hurt His Foot in the episode “The Injury”

“The Injury” is another episode that is among the best ever on “The Office.” Michael goes into great detail of everything leading up to accident.

Michael: “I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don”t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It”s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That”s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.”

No.3. “The Dundies” The New Award show with some interesting categories.

“The Office” stages an awards show titled “The Dundies.” among the most interesting awards is the “Busiest Beaver Award.” One problem with the award. They made a minor spelling error.

Michael: “The Busiest Beaver Award goes to Phyllis Lappen! Yeah! Way to go, Phyllis! Nice work! Her usual!” Phyllis: “It says ‘Bushiest Beaver’. ”
Michael: “I told them busiest… idiots!”

No.2. “Drug Testing” Leads to a Paranoid Dwight

The episode “Drug Testing” led to hilarious circumstances when Dwight begins suspecting everyone of drug use. This interaction with Ryan is the best of the episode.

Dwight: “I didn’t know that you were at a party on Saturday night.”
Ryan: “I go to… a lot of parties.”
Dwight: “Ok, I’m going to need to search your car. Give me your keys.”
Ryan: “I am not giving you my keys.”
Dwight: “Don’t make me do this the hard way.”
Ryan: “What’s the hard way?”
Dwight: “I go down to the police station on my lunch break. I tell a police officer – I know several – what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him.”
Ryan: “Yeah, let’s do it that way.”

No.1. “Casino Night” and the charity Afghanistanis with AIDS

“Casino Night” is one of the best episodes of “The Office” of all-time. There are several side splitting scenes throughout the season two episode but none more hilarious than this conversation as Michael Scott wrestles with his decision of which charity should benefit from his potential winnings.

Michael: “Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn’t exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.”
Jim Halpert: “Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.”
Michael: “No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.”
Phyllis: “Afghani.”
Michael: “What?”
Phyllis: “Afghani.”
Michael: “That’s a dog.”
Pam Beesly: “No, that’s Afghan.”
Michael: “That’s a shawl.”
Dwight: “Wait, canine AIDS?”
Michael: “No, humans with AIDS.”
Creed: “Who has AIDS?”
Jim Halpert: “Guys, the Afghanistanannis.”
Michael: “Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.”

Sources:

www.theofficequotes.com

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