Let me start off by saying. My name is Teresa, and I am the daughter of an alcoholic. Now you dash for the back button on your browser, and think, “this has nothing to do with the topic”. Wrong. It has to do with that, and so much more. I’ll let you in on a profound moment in my life, and all I ask is for a moment of your time.
Up until about 6 months ago, I perceived myself as a drama magnet. It seemed that no matter what I did in my life, something always ended up going wrong. Not that I pitied myself, or had no joy in my life. I just wanted things to be peaceful for more than 24 hours. It wasn’t until I met someone, who is now a very close friend, that I realized it wasn’t my life that attracted drama. It was me. Don’t get me wrong, I mentally kick and screamed all the way to this conclusion, but the moment I muted my own illogical reasoning, I saw what had been there for far too long.
You see my friend had gone through some hard times himself, and utilized many different aids of recovery, and self exploration. He suggested a few things that I could do to improve myself emotionally, and of course at that point I just nodded my head, and played along. After all, there was nothing wrong with me, or so I kept telling myself. He mentioned counseling, or maybe a support group. Well one night, while surfing the net, I decided to do some research on alcoholism. It was a subject close to my heart, so I thought enlightening myself on the topic could provide some useful knowledge the “whys”, and “what ifs”. That was when I found the article about Al Anon. I’d known about the group, and what it was utilized for, but never really explored what it was really about. I read it, and this is what I learned.
Growing up in an environment that is always unpredictable, whether it involves alcoholism, abuse, or any other instability that affects not only children, but anyone subjected to it affects them the rest of their lives. Now I know that seems obvious to a lot of people, but sometimes it’s easier to deny the things you are most accustomed to. It is human nature to feel comfort in an environment that we are familiar with, and unfortunately those can also be the ones that harm us the most. The more I read, the more my eyes opened. All of these things they were explaining were so much like my life! I realized that I didn’t need to create the storm to feel safe any more. I needed to walk away from it. I needed to be uncomfortable, and challenge every day to be a great one. I cried so hard when turned off my computer that night. I picked up my phone, and sent a text to my friend. It said what my heart felt. “Thank you”.