Over the years this writer has been subjected to the lamest excuses created to get out of work, or just being late for duty. This is written in the editorial section, because I would almost be certain that many readers who decide to read this story won’t be too surprised. Allow me to pontificate or for this matter defecate!
A man was continually late for his job at a large health care facility. Finally his employer called him in for “counseling.” Bob (not his real name) was about to be written up for tardiness, but out of curiosity the employer asked him about this particular time’s tardiness. Bob’s reply “My car’s tire-rod was broken, so it took me longer to get here, because my car would only make right side turns.” Bob retained his job.
Steve(not his true name) was a low grade worker like myself, and he hated the job he had, and continually skip work or would be tardy. This writer came in one day to start his shift, and inquired to his boss about Steve’s absence the day before, and where he was on this day. This was the exact replay. We asked Steve why he missed work yesterday and he replied he had “sunstroke.” We fired him today before you started. Oh yes this writer should explain that it had rained buckets the past two days, therefore making “sunstroke” about impossible.
Now here is the most overused perhaps reason for missing work. This writer calls this excuse almost perfect because almost no one could question the excuse. This one employee had more relatives who met their demise almost always on the weekend shift. The employer heard it from this employee so many times that the employer would check the local obit’s in the local news paper. This crafty employee knew from experience, that a family can choose to have an obit printed or not.
This employee, had more “God nieces and nephews” than Deuteronomy contains in “The Bible.” This employee knew that people would inquire about his whereabouts, and if he could just look sad enough his co workers would say “I’m sorry for your loss.” Some of his co-workers would not even bring up the uncomfortable feeling of discussing death. This writer thinks this man could still be employed there, my guess as an attorney.
Some employers will ask for a note from the funeral home. Maybe one could ask for a note but would you? Now a days, with a picture telephone I am surprised employers do not ask for a picture of the deceased.. Then again the process could be a closed casket or a cremation therefore making an employers request a moot point.
Employers put up with crap like some of this because employees especially in low-grade positions,(The only type this writer has ever had), because just getting some employees these day’s to show up is a miracle. The other miracle is getting some to actually work.
I have to hand it to the guy with “The broken tie rod” excuse, at least that one is creative.