I see a lot more resistance to homogenizing Christmas these days, which certainly is encouraging. It seems that in many places outlawing nativity scenes, some ingenious groups have obtained permits and are re-enacting the nativity…live! Turns out there’s more than one way to skin a politically correct Christmas cat. Live scenes of baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the three wise men, right down to live camels are popping up. These actors are replacing inanimate nativity scenes that offend those who apparently consider religion a terrorist organization. No peanuts here, folks. Just a standing ovation!
Talk about stocking stuffing. Let me get this straight. Elections in November clearly showed overwhelming disgust toward congressional spending sprees, so what does congress do? In the time they have left, they are stuffing our Christmas stocking full of 2000 pages of “in-your-face” spending and earmarks to the tune of $1.1 trillion dollars. Yes, with a “T”. I’d like to leave these imbeciles a few “earmarks” of my own, literally.
People go a little crazy this time of year, and I’m not talking about with their credit cards. One of the USPS’ finest decided to spread a little Christmas cheer, delivering his own little package, in the buff. The Wisconsin mail carrier said one of his customers appeared stressed and he just wanted to cheer her up. Just what the post office needs. Buck naked mailmen delivering packages without postage. I’d toss a handful his way, but er…oh, nevermind.
Why all the articles about healthy Christmas eating habits? Who in the world is going to pass up a Christmas spread filled with cookies, candy, chocolates, dips, gravy, chips, pastries, and every other type of lethal junk food that God has bestowed upon us, and eat a rice cake? Are you kidding me? I think we should declare a moratorium on all healthy eating for the month of December. Give the carrots to Santa’s reindeer and save the bark and mulch crap for the rest of the year.
Speaking of Christmas goodies, what good is a fruitcake, really? Actually there is only one in existence. It is so well preserved that it has survived whatever killed the dinosaurs, several nuclear blasts, and so far, Nancy Pelosi. It’s a fact that people receive this lone ten pound fruit cake that has been circulating since time began, stuff it in a closet, and send it on the following year. It’s tradition.
To the YMCA that replaced Santa Claus with Frosty, to appeal to a “broader number of kids”, how’s that workin’ for ya? I know, I know, I’m gloating because of the uproar this created, but I can’t end this without throwing in my two peanuts worth, to all the anti-Christmas politically correct bozos that aren’t happy unless they are stomping on someone else’s Christmas Parade. As I mentioned previously, attempts to homogenize Christmas (especially by insisting on using a contraction of “holy day” ya dopes), seem to be back-firing, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier. So, fair warning here. If you truly have an aversion to people openly celebrating Christmas, stop reading because you’re really gonna hate this.
Merry Christmas (long “i” please) Everyone!!