Anybody who has ever been involved romantically with another person will always have an opinion about love. They will not hesitate to offer stories or information about their own personal experiences. “This is what I would do”, “This is what works for us”, or “We would never do that”, and so on and so forth. Ho Hum, we heard it all before! Everyone is different, what works for one couple may not always be the best solution for another. Finding love is hard enough, keeping love is the real challenge. “Ahhh love”! Isn’t it wonderful to find someone who really cares about you, would do anything for you, makes you laugh and loves you just the way you are. Ok yes, lets get down off that cloud and get to the real issues.
Finding Love …con’t
Relationships are complicated as is love, we would all like to have that rarely found match made in heaven. It does happen, but it is rare. If you are one of the lucky ones to have found it, I would consider you as blessed! Finding true love seems almost obsolete now-a-days. People meet, have a few laughs, they like each others looks, their’s a strong sexual attraction, and BAM they think they have found “the one”. Immediately then, they decide to move in together or some even marry. Of course, the first step to a relationship is the physical attraction, but after that, the next step should be getting to know each other. That is why a lot of relationships fail, because people just don’t take the time to really get to know the other persons heart as well as mind. It might sound cliché when you say it, but think about it. For example, you might be a thoughtful, well groomed person with good housekeeping skills, raised to say please and thank you. Then on the other hand the love of your life, whom you just met, might be the kind who thinks about self first, forgets plans, doesn’t care if there are dishes in the sink and thinks please and thank you are things that only kids are supposed to say. Maybe in the beginning it won’t be such a big deal, but if this is going to be the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, it could become a problem down the road. Keep in mind, at the onset of every romance your goal is to make yourself as appealing as possible. You might do things out of your norm, just to please your suitor. That starts as a problem. It’s best to really try to be true to yourself. Being who you are is not common for most of us when first meeting and dating, but it stands to be the true test. If a person likes the “real you” right from the start, it’s a good bet the relationship has a chance to thrive. Let me clarify, I’m not say you should belch, fart or pick your nose on your first date. What I’m conveying is to be honest and straight- forward, don’t be phony about your life. If you like barbecue, don’t order a salad, if you like comedies’ don’t go to the horror flick. You get what I’m saying – just be yourself!
Keeping the Relationship
Communication, it’s been said many times before, communication is the key to a good relationship. You have to talk, as well as listen! Converse about everything from A to Z. If it’s difficult for you to initiate conversation, make a list of questions that you could ask each other. Even learning the smallest of details can make a big difference. For instance, are you a morning or night person? Do you mind sharing housework? Do you drink coffee or tea? The more you know about a person, the better chance you will have determining whether or not this is the right person for you. Being in love can be wonderful, having a relationship can be great. But if your not with the right person, it can be a miserable experience. It’s just not worth the time and effort that you have to put into being with someone that is not right for you. Don’t do that to yourself, it’s a waste. Not everyone has the same likes and dislikes, that’s life. Don’t try to change a person, or allow anyone to change who you are. Embrace the qualities that you have and find someone who has the same compatibilities as yourself. It may require some effort, but it will be worth it. Everyone deserves, and can have a healthy, happy relationship if you just take your time, be yourself, and communicate.