Redemption, the one thing that so many people try so hard to get, but yet can’t find a way to make it there. Redeeming yourself isn’t as easy as it may sometimes seem. It sounds nice to say it, but how many of us have actually done anything worthy of being redeemed from our follies? No matter what the mistakes, or whom it was that suffered from it, have we truly been worthy of even the thought? And I’m not specifying anything when I say this, I’m just generally stating this, but most of us, we haven’t even scratched the surface of the word.
Think about things you may have done wrong, maybe not intentionally, but within the moment that it happened, you messed up. You let someone down, whether it be you, a friend, a spouse, your boss, or a child, you didn’t quite do what you were supposed to do. Now you’re sitting around and thinking in your head, “Well, what can I do? How can I fix this? How can I make it up to them? Will they forgive me?” These questions are generally what comes to mind, maybe not quite as I have written, not necessarily in that order, but they are present.
Redemption in and of itself, is a bit selfish. Mostly because we ask ourselves most of the time what we can do to fix a situation, rather than asking the person we wronged. It’s more about trying to absolve the guilt in ourselves and trying to move on. Personally, I’ve found myself to be falling short, and not even know why I am, I just know that I have. It’s not like I can’t do things right the first time, and I’ve made multiple mistakes in things I know how to do right. For the most part, this deals with things that pertain to myself, but sometimes, it floods over to those I care about, and that I wish to never happen.
Again however, the thoughts of the “wrong doing” come back to the “wrong doer” thinking of how they can “right” things. I just realized that I’ve have been going about my own redemption the wrong way. I’ve only thought about how I can fix that which I ruined. It’s hung over my head for quite sometime, each day a reminder of the mistakes in some way. Each day, I curse that which I know was my own stupidity, knowing I hurt someone very dear to me, and only longing to remove that pain between us.
Looking at the situation with an outside eye, I find that lots of people trouble themselves with these same thoughts, only worsening with the crime. Making more of a conscious effort to see that they don’t repeat themselves in the same mistake. Not always being successful, but trying nonetheless, searching for a way out of the loop that so confines their behavior, and traps them in that torment.
Understanding these feelings, and knowing what they are about, that is the truly difficult thing. I can’t quite say that I am completely coherent with my interpretation, but it’s better to be on the right path than lay in a ditch on the side of the road. Don’t take the metaphor the wrong way, I just mean, do the best you can and keep yourself doing the right thing. Trying to make up for specific mistakes, will only keep you stuck in the past, reliving the problem. The best possible solution is probably to just try to improve the situation as a whole.
This way, no matter who you hurt, even if it’s yourself, you will be able to look at thing more clearly. Do whatever you need to in order to make things better with whomever you seek redemption from. Life has too many possibilities to sit back and stay stuck on one issue. Live, learn, and continue on, then teach. I know that may seem like a random set of chosen words, but replay the sentence in your mind a few times, and it will start to make sense to you. Hopefully I’ve been able to help another soul through a moment of their life that seemed to be just too difficult.