So, my minister uncle came to my house on Saturday and said to me, “Do you have something to tell me?” I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about. He said, “The Lord sent me over here. Someone has something they want to say.”
Well, me, my sister, and my mother were just talking about some crazy dreams we had, so we began to tell him our dreams. He gave us an interpretation of what those dreams meant, and went into a bunch of stories about spiritual encounters he had. He talked with us about 45 minutes. My mom had to leave, but she still stuck around to hear the rest of his sermon. Me and my sister sat and listened.
Now, I haven’t been to church in a while, and when I did go to church, it never done anything for me spiritually. Saturday, my spirit was going crazy because it was the first time in a while someone was preaching to me, and I was following everything they were saying. A lot of times, (black) preachers seem to go into the same motivational speech they always do, but this was different. He was preaching THE WORD.
After he left, me and my sister continued talking about the Bible for another 45 minutes or so. I told her about a dream that I frequently had, which is about dirty bathrooms. I always dream that I’m in a dirty bathroom, and I am forced to use the bathroom because I have no choice. The floors have urine on it, the toilet paper is on the floor, the doors separating the stalls are so short that you can see the legs of the other person in the restroom…the bathrooms in my dreams are just filthy.
My sister told me that she believes that the bathroom symbolizes privacy, but we don’t know why the bathroom is always dirty. Maybe I need to ask my uncle. But what I did reveal to my sister is that I am not a peaceful sleeper. I am always very aware when I sleep. If you call my name quietly, I will wake right up, and say “Huh?” If my alarm rings, I jump right up and start stumbling around the room. I’m never groggy when I wake up like normal people. I’m always a little bit dizzy, but I feel completely alert.
When people sleep, they rest. But not me. I don’t rest'”I just sleep. I’m just getting some shut eye. I enjoy meditating, but I find it hard to meditate because I can’t relax. I can’t focus. My mind is always on the other things I need to do. I don’t know what it’s like to have any peace in my life. Every day is hectic.
My sister said to me, “You need to pray for peace.” I don’t why I usually don’t. I have prayed for peace before, it’s not something I pray for regularly. It’s almost like I put my spiritual well being on the back burner. I pray for all these earthly things, but I seldom pray for my own spiritual/mental health. I pray for other people’s spiritual health, but not my own. How stupid is that?
I finally prayed for peace'”peace of mind, to be exact. I know for sure that having peace of mind will solve just about all the problems I have in my life. Well, problems will always be there, but having peace of mind will help me get through the problems with grace.