Certain types of personalities are drawn to certain holidays. Those who selfish tend to gravitate towards Christmas. It’s the time of year when you get the most gifts. Those who are of Christian faith enjoy Easter. It’s the time of year to celebrate the Resurrection. And those who are involved in beautiful relationships tend to love Valentines Day. It’s the time of year to show the one you love, just how much they mean to you. And then there’s me. And my favorite holiday is New Years Eve. Its the time of year I look forward to because I can go to a party, drink as much alcohol that I feel I can handle, scream and yell, pass out, and then go home the next day. At least, that’s how it has always been in years past.
New Years Eve 2009, it was not to be.
The plans were set in stone. Me and a group of friends, 12 of us total, we’re going to take a stretched black hummer into Providence to one of our favorite clubs. Club Hell. The limo wasn’t set to pick us up until 8 pm, so as the friends started arriving at my house, we started to pregame. All the beverages were flowing smoothly, and the music was pumping. Even my neighbors, who were older and generally irritable, seemed to be in a happy mood. They came over to wish everybody a Happy New Year’s before they headed out for some Chinese food. I remember thinking to myself, as the couple who have been together for the last 25 years or so, headed out that door, that I never wanted to become so comfortable in life that the only thing I have to look forward to on New Year’s Eve is a bowl of pork friend rice.
When the limo arrived, I’m not going to lie, I was already tanked. I was in the zone. I cannot remember a time when I was more drunk then I was that night. Maybe it was because I didn’t eat all day, or it might have just been the excitement of the night. Either way, I felt invincible and on top of the world.
That all came crashing down soon enough. As we strolled along Route 95 South towards our destination, we heard a giant POP. It was like a gunshot. After the girls stopped screaming, the limo rolled towards the breakdown lane and shortly came to a stop. In the front, the driver of the limo started apologizing and saying that we blew a tire. Looking back, I genuinely feel sorry for the driver. He was facing 5 men with alcohol running through their system, and had to tell us that we broke down. After all the yelling, which could only be described as the sound a bunch of middle school girls make when they find out their teenage idols aren’t actually virgins, cooler heads prevailed. The driver got on the phone with his boss and after 20 minutes, was able to tell us that another limo was on its way to pick us up.
Apparently this new limo was coated with invisible paint, because it never showed up. An hour after the phone call, about 5 minutes to 11pm, there was still no limousine. My girlfriend, pissed beyond belief, decided she was going to walk to the club. Mind you, while we were waiting we were still drinking directly from the champagne bottle. So She starts walking off, down the highway, while the rest of us yelled for her to come back. Although drunk, all of us were competent enough to know you should not be walking along the highway, drunk, on New Year’s Eve. As she began to fade from sight, I decided I better catch up with her. As I run down the highway, I tripped over a rock. Either that or I stumbled on clean pavement because I was drunk. Either way, I end up falling and skidding my face against the cold gravel. In retrospect, it could’ve been worse than it was. I had a fairly large red scratch on my face that was bleeding a little, but nothing that a wet nap couldn’t take care of.
I eventually caught up with my girlfriend, and as I discussed with her on the side of the road, the positives and negatives to walking along the highway, a state trooper pulled up. As you can imagine, he wasn’t too pleased to find 2 drunk twenty somethings on his highway, about a half hour before the ball drops. I’m really not sure what the options were for this state trooper. I’m sure he could’ve locked us up for something. However, he was nice enough to drop us off back at the limo. At this point, a road service was assisting with getting the tire replaced with a dummy. The state trooper stayed behind the limousine as the repairs were made. And at midnight, as the ball dropped, all 12 of us sat in the limousine, cold and drunk, absolutely deflated.
Around quarter past midnight, the limo was fixed. And though we had paid for the service until 3 am, we all decided it would be best to just go home. As my girlfriend and I walked up the stairs, we ran into my neighbors again. They were just getting home from the Chinese food and a round of karaoke. And this time I thought, “I cannot wait for the time in life when I can find comfort in going our for Chinese food and karaoke on New Year’s Eve.”