In high school I didn’t date. This prompted my parents to take action quickly when sophomore year I did not have a valentine. They set me up on a blind date.
Once my parents told me the news that I would be forced to take some stranger to a play in DC I was ecstatic. I’m getting money to eat better then I usually do, see a play, and maybe get lucky with this girl who could be attractive and just misunderstood.
I get there early to meet her, and my first impression was memorable. She had a thick mustache, dry sense of fashion, and was so bowlegged when she walked you weren’t sure if she was walking or dancing.
We had an hour to eat before the play started. We go into a nice restaurant, sit down, and I anticipate us talking about how we ended up meeting each other being that neither one of us apparently dated. No.
I asked her how she was doing she said, “Fine”. I asked her if she was having a nice day she said, “Good”. I asked her what her interests were and she said, “I don’t know.” This was not the first female who I had met that was not interested in speaking to me. However when the waiter came by she hardly spoke to him either. He looked at me as if to say, “Is she not hungry, alive, or are you two in an abusive relationship?” Have you ever had dinner with someone and didn’t talk? You can hear your fork hitting the plate as you eat, you can’t look up for fear that they are staring at you possibly reaching for the knife, and the uneasiness will not let your stomach digest properly.
So after a brisk dinner we go for a walk since we have forty five minutes until the play starts. After walking for forty five minutes my mouth was dry from asking questions and despite my efforts her word count had not exceeded fifteen. If you were an observer you would think I was trying to propose and she was filled with guilt for having an affair because she would not respond.
We go inside to watch the play which was a comedy, and I am upset. After an hour this girl was completed disinterested in everything that had occurred. I anticipated us sitting there looking angry while everyone around us is laughing hysterically. No. She loved it. I mean she didn’t just laugh but she had a distinct obnoxious laugh to where you could hear her over everyone else. I’m just looking at her amazed thinking how wrong it would be if I left her there.
Once the play was over as we are leaving she resorts to her Adam’s Family state of monotony and I wait with her in silence until her mother picks her up. Needless to say “Cousin It” didn’t even say by as she got in the car as they drove off.