Grammar rules when writing dialogue seems to be a tough spot for many writers. Over a year ago, I wrote the Rules of Grammar and Punctuation in Dialogue Writing (click here) which has had tens of thousands of page views and has been shared across multiple writing sites. Now, I’m going follow up on that with two more dialogue writing rules, rules which I’ve seen broken many times.
-Rule- Don’t tag every quote
The “tag” of a quote is in general the “he said, she said, he asked, he stated, etc.” that is usually directly before or after the quote.
When you’re writing a dialogue scene which focuses primarily on two characters, it is not a wise choice to use tags on everything. And note that no matter how creatively you use your thesaurus, a tag is a tag.
For example, I’ll alter a block of text from one of my own stories to illustrate the wrong way:
Excerpt from “The Crazy Ole’ Bird Lady” –
“Here to file a report?” he asked.
“Yes, I’d like report Gerty Wallace for harassment,” I told him.
He’d been pulling out the necessary forms when he froze. He turned and looked over his glasses at me. “Gerty Wallace?”
“Yup,” I stated.
“Seventy-five year old Gerty Wallace?” he asked.
“The one and only,” I answered.
It actually sounds very silly and choppy when used in this manner. For over half those quotations, a tag isn’t necessary at all. As long as the conversation is, for the most part, between two characters, and you’ve identified who began the conversation, there is no reason to tag the next several lines.
Now, here’s the right way:
“Here to file a report?” he asked.
“Yes, I’d like report Gerty Wallace for harassment.”
He’d been pulling out the necessary forms when he froze. He turned and looked over his glasses at me. “Gerty Wallace?”
“Yup.”
“Seventy-five year old Gerty Wallace?”
“The one and only.”
Please note that in the middle of the conversation, there was a reaction, not a tag. It can be helpful to use a creative reaction in the middle of dialogue to keep from tagging if you feel like the reader might lose who is saying what.
-Rule- Don’t close quotes if the same character is speaking in the next paragraph.
I think this rule is often overlooked because there just aren’t very many circumstances (unless we have a particularly long winded character in our fiction!) that require multi-paragraphed speeches from our characters.
Here is an example of the wrong way:
Excerpt from “The Suicide of Time Hall” –
I nodded. “I’ve always had faith that there’s something out there that we don’t understand. Something that can provide miracles and something that drives the human race. You think society has problems now, just wait until faith is replaced by the concrete knowledge of what religion is.”
“The mysteries of the world can spark beauty. Without it, we are changed. I saw a woman last week that took out another mortgage on her house just to come see who killed her sister thirty years ago. When she found out it was her own deceased father, she left in tears, with a knowledge that only sent her back into a grief that would’ve been long gone had she not known.” I shook my head at the memory of that poor woman and hoped they understood.
There should be NO quotations at the end of the first paragraph because in the second paragraph, my character is continuing his speech. It has to be broken into two paragraphs because of the two separate ideas he is presenting.
The right way:
I nodded. “I’ve always had faith that there’s something out there that we don’t understand. Something that can provide miracles and something that drives the human race. You think society has problems now, just wait until faith is replaced by the concrete knowledge of what religion is.
“The mysteries of the world can spark beauty. Without it, we are changed. I saw a woman last week that took out another mortgage on her house just to come see who killed her sister thirty years ago. When she found out it was her own deceased father, she left in tears, with a knowledge that only sent her back into a grief that would’ve been long gone had she not known.” I shook my head at the memory of that poor woman and hoped they understood.
Please take note, though, that even though you don’t close the first paragraph with quotes, you DO open the next paragraph with quotes. It indicates that the quote is being extended into that paragraph. This rule is to be followed no matter how many continuing paragraphs you have in your character’s speech.
Sources: personal experience
