I can understand how it is. You’re single, your friend is single, neither of you want a relationship but you both want sex. The two of you trust each other, get along good, but are not each other’s type for whatever reason. Nothing wrong with taking care of one another sexually right? I mean, taking care of one another is what friends do right? Many friend with benefits good times go sour and people can get hurt. If this is the type of thing you may wish to get into, there are a few things you need to do to prepare and some rules to abide by when it’s going on. Let’s go over it.
Talk About It
Now I’m assuming that if you are thinking of rolling in the hay with your friend, that he or she is considered a very good friend. You know, stands by you through the thick and thin, has been known to get up out of bed at 3am to pick up your drunk ass from the bar so you don’t drive. Now I’m going to assume that you know this friend very well and that they know you just as well. The two of you need to have a serious, fully clothed, sit down conversation about this BEFORE anyone gets naked or groped. When the two of you are all hot and bothered, pawing at one another like a couple of pubescent teenagers is NOT the time to have this talk. Many big mistakes have been made when a woman has her breasts exposed and/or a guy has an erection.
Talk About What?
Are you serious? OK, let me spell out a list for you. The two of you need to ask each other a few serious questions like….
Can we do this from time to time without our friendship getting weird?
Here is the definition of “getting weird” as it applies to Friends With Benefits. Your other friends are able to pick up that something is going on between the two of you. If the rest of the people in the click you hang out in can see that something is going on between the two of you, (even if they haven’t properly identified it), things are getting weird. Outside the bedroom needs to be business as usual. That may not be easy. It’s normal to be at the diner with your friends, look across the table at him or her and recalling how they rocked your world last night. You need to keep what’s going on under wraps. Both of you need to be aware of your body language when you’re both out with your other friends.
Without rules, there is no order. Without order, there is chaos. Here are a few ground rules to abide by.
It’s JUST Sex.
Yeah, I know the two of you are good friends. You may love each other but you’re NOT “in love” with each other. There is a big difference. Neither of you need to get emotionally involved with each other. If you fall in love with your friend and the friend is not on the same page, the friendship is doomed to fail. If you are the type that “falls easy”, (you should be able to identify if you are or not) a Friends With Benefits situation may not be for you. Be adult enough to admit that to yourself. If your heart starts to flutter when you’re around him or her, be adult enough to back up and perhaps, make things less frequent or stop it all together.
Yeah, I know. I don’t dig condoms either and neither does my lady but she can’t be on the pill, and we don’t trust IUD s. We’re both monogamous so we’re not worried about STDs but neither of us want to be parents. By some KY intense and some Trojan “fire and ice” condoms to make up for the lack of feeling that happens with a condom.
Keep What’s Happening Between You and Your Friend.
Yeah, I know dude, you really want to let your best buddy know that you’re doing that friend that you both have but that would not be a good situation. And to the female half of this big secret, don’t sit down and have a heart to heart with your “best friends forever” girlfriend and tell her that the friend you both have and you got it on last night. First, they don’t really want to know, second, it’s none of their business, and third, they may loose a bit of respect for you if they know what’s going on.
Make It an Occasional Thing
The more frequently the two of you mess around, the more difficult that it’s going to be to hide it, keep from developing feelings for each other, etc. Make it a once in a while thing. Like two nights a month or no more than once a week. Yeah I know that he or she was like a porn star in bed but seriously, getting together a lot isn’t a good thing.
There you have it. If you and your friend think that you can handle a Friends With Benefits situation go for it. It can be fun but if you feel that ice getting thin, be adult enough to get back on the shore. Good luck mate.