You can take as long as you like in stages 1 and stage 2 of the overcoming shyness in the cyber dating project. It can take you some time to become both interesting and interested. Sooner or later you will need to take the next step.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to meet anyone in the flesh just yet. In fact, if you live in Maine, go the various dating sites and look up people in California. Here in the beginning of this phase you are actually looking for zero chance of meeting people and you’ll have the additional advantage of easily avoid creepy people.
If you happen to get a message from an attractive person in a foreign country, just delete it. Everyone gets them. They are just scams for money. No matter what the foreigner says or where he says he is from he is actually a virus laden scam artist looking to get your identity and your money so delete message from anyone who does not live in your country. As in all matters some common sense is involved. If you do live in Maine and someone from Canada does contact you that person could be real because distance and slight differences in standards of living make it credible. But if a good looking person from the poorest country on earth contacts you, it’s scam.
Meanwhile backing on the dating sites…Glance over the photos of people on the site until you see somebody you like or someone who looks interesting. Read their profile. If it sounds like someone you could have fun with then sign up for the site and “flirt” or show interest in the person. If you are still a little nervous about the process you do not need to post a photo of yourself at this point. But ads with photos get more responses. Even if the photo is unattractive, it will still get more responses than an ad with no photo.
Since you are only flirting with people thousands of miles from you and you are not looking to actually meet anyone, stick to the free or low cost sites. Google free dating websites and you will see many of them. http://www.PlentyOfFish.com is one that currently does not charge. These matters change from time to time so you need to check for yourself whether a site that used to be free still is.
Not everyone you flirt with will flirt back. This is okay since you don’t live in the same state anyway. Some people don’t like it when a person flirts with them who is not within driving distance. It is time that you learn to deal with people who may not like you or the way you do things. Your strategy is similar to a door to a door salesman. He can stay upbeat and encouraged because he only sees the positive responses, however few they might be and he never dwells on the negative responses , no matter how many they might be. Try to stay with sites that allow you to block communication with people you don’t want to speak to in rare case that someone becomes abusive. Never give out phone numbers or addresses to anyone you have not met in person.
There is at least one reason for you to post a photo of yourself. On some dating sites they will inform you if someone looks at your picture or if you look at a picture of someone else that person will be informed. If a person so informed likes you they may take the initiative and make the initial contact. This means you would never have to make the first move. All you would have to do is create a profile. Post a picture and browse. Look at the details of a profile that you are interested in now and then and the flirts will come to you!
Since the person you are flirting with is out of state, it can be easier to share your true likes and dislikes without fear of rejection. After all, you never going to see this person in the flesh. Now is the time to develop your dating personality and to get specific in your profile about who you are and what you like.
When you are conversing with a stranger from your own state, remember not share your address and phone number. This person is helping you develop and sharpen you dating skills. You don’t want a long distance relationship. They usually don’t work.
Too Shy to Date
Cyber Dating for the Terminally Shy and Socially Awkward