Which position(s) will you be applying for:
Are you evil: _ Yes _ No
Are you willing to be cannon fodder (if you don’t know what “cannon fodder” mean, mark yes) _Yes _No
Would you enjoy being part of a horde (that’s a really big group) _ Yes _ No
Henchman intelligence test. What color is the sky?
_ red _ blue
(hint: it’s blue)
Sign your name here. If you can’t sign your name, make your mark. We’re not that picky in the henchman department.
Questionnaire for Everyone Else:
What name would you like to be known by? (e.g. Black Widow, Mr. E, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, The Deathinator, Shirley Temple, etc…)_________________________
What brought you into the evil business?
_ Greed _ Insanity _ The sheer evil in your soul
_ Troubled childhood _ Grudge against hero _ Other:________________
What superpowers do you possess?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony? ____
Would you like to be convicted of a felony? ____
Please list all crimes you have committed
Please list all other antisocial behaviors you have engaged in, including but not limited to: plotting global chaos, worshiping Satan, shaving cats, beating up old ladies, tipping cows, and taking the tags off mattresses.
Are you comfortable with wearing spandex, a mask, and/or a cape? _ Yes _ No
Do you have your own cronies. If so are they:
_ Ninjas _ Idiots in weird costumes _ Flying monkeys
_ Robots _ Goons _ Other___________
Have you ever been caught doing something nice. Check no if there is no photographic evidence and the witnesses are all dead. _ Yes _ No
If accepted, will you be able to provide your own costume, transportation, and evil theme music? _____________
(note: there are no wrong answers. Some will get you accepted and some will get you killed, but none are wrong.)
You have just done something very evil. Your maniacal laughter would be most like:
B. Ah hah hah hah hah
C. Tee hee hee, giggle giggle snort
You have just captured a hero and tied him up. Your next action would be to:
A. Kill him with some odd death contraption.
B. Torture him for information or just for kicks.
C. Start monologuing and reveal your secret plans that are unstoppable.
What are your plans for earth?
A. Rule the world!
B. Destroy the world!
C. World peace.
Some hero is trying to thwart your plans. You would probably:
A. Kill him yourself.
B. Delegate the killing thing to a gang of flunkies.
C. Try to have a non-judgmental discussion of values.
Given a choice, would you prefer to have:
A. Nearly limitless resources.
B. Superpowers and an impossibly great figure.
C. A smile on your face.
You see a cat. You would be most likely to:
A. Whip out your death ray.
B. Twist it to your dark purposes.
C. Make sure it has a loving and supportive family.
Number the following in order of importance to you:
__The death of all who oppose you
If you were a flower, you would most likely be:
A. A rose.
B. A peony.
C. A daisy.
Social Security Number:_____-____-________
Credit Card Numbers: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Any relevant PIN numbers and bank account information (for payment purposes, naturally) ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Have you lied at all on this application? _ Yes _ No (If you checked no, you may not be cut out for this type of thing. Feel free to lie on this question.)