Ladies and Gentlemen the last nail in the coffin of the music industry has been tightly nailed in today by Kim Kardashian. She has recorded a song and she is sharing it with you. Just when I thought there may be some hope left for serious female artists, like Christina Perri and Esperanza Spalding to save the face of music ; some rich no talent buys her way in. I guess it wasn’t bad enough that we had to endure Ms.Kardashian’s version of Chrissy Snow doing the Mambo on Dancing with the Stars.
Don’t get me wrong, she is beautiful and obviously a savvy business woman to have come this far, but please Ms. Kardashian step away from the microphone. Perhaps it isn’t her fault at all, I blame it on “The Dream” the person who produced this travesty. Although The Dream has some solid credits producing tracks like Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and Riahanna’s “Umbrella”, money must have been tight for him lately and he set his sights on the Kardashian green machine.
Here’s how I imagined it went: He gets Ms. Kim Kardashian alone for some drinks and strokes her ego, telling her “I bet you can sing, I just got that vibe from you”. He convinces her to meet him at the studio and lay something down. She sings for him and he knows his pet pittbull could bark a tune better than she sings but he keeps his eye on the prize. He really lays it on thick and promises her she could be the next Britney Spears. 2 weeks later he sends her a bill for their first session together and the pain in his head from recording her vocals is easily soothed.
Very Reminiscent of The Countess, Luann from the Housewives of NY. When that sleazy “producer” tells her she sounds like Madonna and is going to be a huge pop star.
Yes I definitely Blame the sleazy record producers for taking advantage of these fabulously flawed millionaires.
Kim Kardashian could have paid someone to sing for her and it would have been cheaper than paying an engineer to auto-tune every note she sang.
Oh yes so what about the song, “Jam (Turn it Up)” and Kardashians vocal stylings? The music is mediocre at best, the lyrics sound like my 6 year old niece wrote them while playing hop scotch; “turn it up, turn it up, turn it DJ”. Just because you throw the word DJ into the mix does not mean people in the club are too drunk to notice that this song is not worthy to dance to. The “vocals” are so hoke, so inanimate she sounds like a depressed robot.
The song is so dreadful, so godawful I leave you with this:
If you are at all interested in what a Borg would sound like singing over a “phat dance track” take a listen.
