I have not read Kay Hymowitz’s new book, Manning Up, yet, but I like her already. Although she is a woman, she understands the single societal double standard that is most infuriating to men in their thirties today, and which is responsible for many of the frustrations in male-female relationships.
As Kay Hymowitz states in an article today, men perceive a bait-and-switch in society’s set-up of male-female relationships because: “Women may want equality at the conference table and treadmill. But when it comes to sex and dating, they aren’t so sure.” [Source: Kay Hymowitz. Why Are Men Angry?, Mon, 28 Feb 2011 00:26:21 -0400. Downloaded from: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-02-28/why-are-men-angry-manning-up-author-kay-hymowitz-explains/]. In other words, women today compete at the same level as men in professional situations, but they still expect men to follow 19th-century standards of behavior in relationship settings.
To men, this is infuriating for a couple of reasons. First, it is simply confusing. At work, if a man opens a door for a woman he might be considered a chauvinist; on a date, if he fails to open a door for a woman, he might be considered a chauvinist. This is a very tedious double standard. Second, it seems to men that the over-riding principle in male-female relationships today is that men must get the short end of the stick, regardless of the setting. At work, they are denied the dominance they once hand, and in relationships they have retained the antiquated servility they have had for centuries. At least Kay Hymowitz understands.
As noted above, I cannot give a recommendation of Kay Hymowitz’s Manning Up book because I have not read it. But I am very impressed by her article on today’s Daily Best today (which you can read here) and would expect her book to be good. I am one of the thirty-something men she writes about, and the double standard in male-female relationships that she discusses has been grating on me for the past decade or so.
I am fortunate to be in a good, healthy marriage (unlike the men who Kay Hymowitz’s Manning Up apparently says are avoiding marriage due to the relationship double standard), but the confusing roles of men and women in modern society often seem unfair to me; while I don’t expect anything to change, Hymowitz’s article today is a breath of fresh air.
Kay Hymowitz. Why Are Men Angry?, Mon, 28 Feb 2011 00:26:21 -0400. Downloaded from: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-02-28/why-are-men-angry-manning-up-author-kay-hymowitz-explains/