Angelina Jolie has never impressed me. I never thought she was sexy, I never thought she was intriguing, I was more impressed with her estranged father Jon Voight and his cameo on “Seinfeld,” than anything she has ever done. Jolie has always appealed to the male lowest common denominator. Don’t get me wrong, Jolie looks great. She looks fit and trim and from all indications she is a fairly athletic individual. Still, I have never really been impressed.
With Johnny Depp it’s been the same. I grew up in the 1980’s when the girls were all swooning over Kirk Cameron and New Kids on the Block in their Tiger Beat magazines. Depp was always something of an outsider but he definitely attracted some attentions I was aware of. Still I’ve never been all that impressed with his ‘acting.’ I call his version of the acting I’ve seen to be great lighting, camera angles, and his own very manufactured, limp-wristed, quizzical befuddlement.
So needless to say I was less than inspired when I received an invitation to attend the “red carpet premiere screening” of the new Jolie/Depp enterprise “The Tourist.”
Actually this wasn’t an invitation like those which I’m accustomed to receiving from promoters. No this was an invitation from one of those buskers standing around outside Pottery Barn on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I came across the guy last week, he asked me if I were free Monday night, and I was – and I am.
I have been to these screening things before. They are fine, I’ve never had a problem. Though for the life of me the films which I’ve been screened escape me. this tells you something about the quality of the films being screened.
Regardless I told him my name, he gave me a brochure, told me to call the number, and I went on my way. I did mindlessly make my phone reservation as I was told. However as I inspected this ‘pass’ to entry, I began to get a sinking feeling in my gut.
“At the theatre, please join the “seat filler” line in the courtyard on 55th Street behind the Ziegfeld Theatre. Do not go to the Will Call Table or Tent or Red Carpet.”
Hmmm…Well, whatever. It was a chance to see a free film! Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp! “The Tourist!” Sure to at least be something worth writing about, right?
Well…As I further inspected this invite, I felt less and less confident about going. “As this is a private event, we reserve the right to deny admission and/or to entry or rescind an invitation, based solely on our discretion.”
Well that doesn’t’ sound good. Then at the bottom. “Due to limited seating, admission cannot be 100% guaranteed.”
I reflected on this warning, what going to the show would be worth to me, and what attending this show would entail. I don’t mean to complain but I get up every day before 4am to drive two hours to even get into New York City. Why would I stay on into the late night to maybe see this film I don’t even want to see?
If Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp had given me more of a career around which to get jazzed up about this preview, then I definitely would have come out. But the stiff-arm from the invite as well as how unimpressed I have been with these two thespians work to date has me opting out of this film for now.