Many marriages, friendships, businesses and relationships are dissolving… The divorce rate is at epidemic proportions due to the rising incidence of infidelity! Jealousy, envy, stress, distrust, abuse, manipulation, loss of income, anxiety, poor coping and lack of healthy relational skills all attribute to endorse the overall deterioration of many relationships.
Devotion, faithfulness and loyalty are going by the wayside … Many simply neglect to keep their commitments. Then subscribe to unbiblical teaching and ungodly counsel to justify whatever it is they want to do! It is encouraged to just do what makes you feel good at the expense of everyone else! Did you know that infidelity is actually a result of classic covetousness? Think about it! It results in wanting someone who you have not committed to, or is already committed to someone else. Or wanting something because someone else has it! I have a secret I would like to later share with you later on!
“A heart at Peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 18.
Jealousy & enviousness defined is feeling bitter and unhappy because of another’s advantages, possessions, or good fortune. Enviousness is usually companions of feeling suspicious about a rival’s or competitor’s influence, especially in regards to a loved one. Jealousy exists between some husbands and wives, friends, partners, siblings, neighbors, co workers, church members, ministers, pastors, you name it! Don’t let jealousy nor covetousness consume you! This will only serve to make you bitter! Jealousy & envy are not love it’s insecurity! They are weaknesses!
We are living in a time of extreme situations in this 21st century! Just about anything goes! Relationships, projects and business deals often go awry due to jealousy and envy! Traditional values are constantly being pushed aside to make way for modern day concepts. “Do your own thing is gaining momentum! Psychological techniques often being unknowingly embraced and employed to control, dominate, manipulate and suppress others! It is even in midst of our worship services! Many marriages, families, friendships and relationships are being disrupted at pandemic proportions! We should really begin to address the subjects and possible underlying issues that no one seems to want to really openly address.
Covetousness & Envy defined are often yearning insatiably to have what does not belong to you… it is systemic in many breakups! Being unhappy wanting someone else’s “stuff” or spouse is not healthy! Why not work on improving your own relationship and striving to be the “Best” you! Why not develop your “own” style and be original? You have heard the term “green with envy!” Well…
“The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence!” It just looks that way. .. If it is: it has to be mowed and tended! It must be maintained and fertilized in order to keep that way! It doesn’t just happen! Along with it comes responsibility!
The Bible is an excellent source for life lessons! It has a marvelous story about Joseph! It is a classic story with many beneficial wisdom lessons! It was because of jealousy Joseph’s brothers put him in a pit! They then lied for many years to cover up what they had done! They were so jealous they allowed their jealousy to consume them; causing them to often make rash decisions. They allowed his father to think that he had been killed. They had not really taken into consideration as a whole the overall consequences of their impulsive decision! They had devised an ungodly plan… Things really got out of hand! All because they believed that their Father Israel favored him. They felt that he loved Joseph more! They were blinded by their jealousy and in turn misinterpreted Joseph’s good intentions as well.
Many injustices happened to Joseph as a result of their jealousy! In spite of their conspiring against him; through all Joseph went through the Lord was with him and eventually made him successful in all he accomplished… His character was refined in the process! This is only one of many narratives where the Word provides excellent, examples on the different ways that jealousy and covetousness ruined relationships. However the Lord eventually worked their insecure and evil intentions out for Good! It was not until many years later were they ever confronted with the Truth of the matter! The complete details of this amazing narrative are found in Genesis chapters 37 – 45.
Whenever we do not confront something it does not just go away! It is simply allowed to run in the background like a virus. A virus is a microscopic parasitic particle that lives within a host cell. They are not considered independent living organisms. It generally stays in the background feeding off of its environment! However, it can surface at a most inconvenient time to disrupt your plans and get you off track and possibly make you quite ill! For example; there are also a plethora of computer viruses which are lodged within a program that wants to run in the background and damage the integrity of stored data… Bringing a virus to the light interrupts its ability to continue to cause havoc… But it highly possible it will surface again since it is believed a virus is never really completely eliminated!
God is The God of Light! Know that God wants us to walk victoriously in every area of our lives! It is important to spend time in His Word. It is equally important to apply whatever you are learning! God has a purpose and plan for each of us! It is your choice to do things His way or your way? Whatever hinders you; know God really is able to help you overcome! He can break every stronghold. The shield of FAITH can take care of all the fiery darts aimed to get you off course!
Jealousy & Envy are both usually rooted in insecurity as often intertwined siblings as well as close relational cousins. Sometimes making it hard to distinguish between the two. Fear & anger are generally the origin cause of both! A minimal amount of jealousy in marriage is healthy to a degree it means you are attached! Jealousy should never be used to control someone… Don’t provoke jealousy in relationships instead encourages transparency!
Let’s explore some ways to overcome unhealthy or pathological jealousy. It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. With God “ALL things are possible” Matthew 18.
How to begin to be set FREE!
1. Admit however it is you are feeling. Openly discuss this unpopular subject responsibly. Shining the light on places and issues that are usually avoided serves to bring deliverance!
2. In order to overcome and take control of your emotions one must first admit that there is a deficiency to cope properly or that in fact negative behavior exists! You have made the first step by taking responsibility by acknowledging how you feel.
3. Know that God wants you to be secure in every area of your life. He has a purpose and plan just for you.
4. One must be willing to take a personal self evaluation. Spiritual growth can help you overcome your insecurities! Our true “Security & Significance is in the Lord! It is important to know who you are through Jesus Christ!
5. The Word of God is an invaluable resource full of viable principles to help us develop spiritual strength over our weaknesses. We are bombarded with worldly concepts and ideas. Many nurture weakness and make excuses for them rather than opt to develop synergy and develop better relational dynamics!
6. God is our Creator and Maker it is vitally important to spend personal time in His Word and then apply the principles therein. It is our spiritual food our “Manna from Heaven.” You will see remarkable results once you consistently embrace His Word!
7. Take quiet time to “Be STILL & KNOW” and or meditate. “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world…”
Please take some time to pray, ponder then slowly read and digest the Scriptures. It is in them you can better learn to understand yourself. It is here you will find strength and encouragement to overcome your weaknesses! The Holy Spirit is available to open your understanding…
“There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Jesus Christ has made me FREE from the law of sin and death. For what the la could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, that the requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who DO NOT walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit the things of the SPIRIT…” Romans 8.
There is much wisdom right here in this passage of Scripture to camp on for an extended moment! The TRUTH sets you FREE! God’s Word is not designed to imprison you. It has not been provided to keep us legalistically shackled to the past, any behavior, anything or anyone! It was designed to convict us and draw you and me closer to Him! To help us build healthier marriages & relationships! It is our necessary “Spiritual Food!” Designed to spiritually enlighten, nurture and nourish us so we can grow spiritually! So we can learn how to navigate in and around this world that does not see God as being Sovereign or Supreme, nor recognize Him as Creator and Lord!