Allow me first to be clear in my writing. I am a 45 year old man. I have dated quite a bit in my life and at this age know what works, not only for myself but most of my male friends as well when it comes to the relationship scene. If you are a woman and want to know what a man really thinks and how his mind works in a relationship vs a friendship keep reading.
In the beginning: So you just met a man you find both intellectually and sexually arousing. He seems to be interested in you as well. You are off to a fair start. Next step is the killer in the beginning. One of you has to ask the other out for coffee or a drink. If you met him in a bar, your chances would be better “out for a drink” if you met him at a coffee house, in a park, or somewhere other than a bar. Your best bet would be coffee. Not Dinner at your place (unless you are just going for the sex). One of the most important things to discuss over coffee is both your availability and his. Are either of you married, do either of you have children. Yes you have to find this out to move forward accordingly. Honesty is the best and most important place to begin. If you can’t do this simple thing you deserve to get your heart crushed over and over. This means telling yourself the truth as well. Remember ladies you Cannot and Never will Change a man! On your first date be professional (or so to speak) look at him as a potential candidate for a job. The job is you want to be loved and settle down. Don’t pry, don’t be needy, don’t be rude to the waiter. Again be a professional woman who deserves respect. If the man is not respectful, move on. Also be prepared to split the cost of this date. Don’t assume anything.
The Middle of the Beginning: So you and this guy hit it off just fine. You have a few more dates and have moved into a more intimate setting, this is the romantic period. Please don’t expect every day to be like this. It will change, it is a part of your body chemistry, hormones, pheromones, testosterone, they are all having a big party in your brain right now. This high will wear off so enjoy your romantic time while you can. The nice thing is this gives you both a chance to build a solid foundation to begin building on. Again during this period be honest. I cannot stress this enough. If there is something he does that you don’t care for, tell him now. Not a year from now. If there are specific sexual things you like, now is the time to discuss them. This is the time to make an impact for the both of you. If you are seeing other men or if he is seeing other women, this time together will decide who gets the boot and when. If you are growing together those other people will just drift away. If you are not they will still be there in the years to come. Don’t be jealous and don’t put a time frame on him. This will make him feel trapped and he will run. If the situation makes you sad or moody, time to move on, he’s not going to change.
Finally Settled in: So you did it, after a year or two you are living together or married. During this time you should already have a healthy foundation to work on, in building your future together. Remember as you head toward your future together. He might treat you like a princess, does not mean anyone else has to. You get what you put into a relationship back out. People (contrary to popular movie myths) don’t read other people’s minds. You do not know his work day and he does not know yours. Anything that could be considered slightly childish (manipulation, tantrums, pissy fits, and the Me First attitude) should be left with your childhood or you will be doomed as an adult. You are special yes, but there are millions of other special ladies out there as well. You have made yourself special to him, keep letting him see you as that beautiful one special lady.
Love really is a battle field, if you are honest about the dangers though, you won’t get hurt. This article is specifically written for those over 25 years of age. If you are still in high school you have allot to go through before you even get to this point in life.