Sitcoms have really been a dieing genre ever since Seinfield and Friends went off the air. It seems to me that you can’t flip to a channel without seeing some time of procedural drama. I swear, if the network execs decide to do one more spin off of CSI or Law & Order I may just lose all of my faith in tv all together.
There is one glimmer of hope out there for the situational comedy…I am obviously talking about How I Met Your Mother. I think How I Met Your Mother is one of the most clever shows out there. And what better way to show your appreciation and devotion to a television show than to create your video game!
The following is a rough outline of what I think would be a totally awesome video game.
Set-up: Game opens with Ted sitting down his two children in the year 2030 to tell them the story of how he met their mother. It all starts when Marshall, Ted’s best friend, proposes to his girlfriend, Lily. Ted realizes he wants to find his true love and goes to MacLaren’s with his friend Barney. At the bar Ted spots Robin and they agree to go on a date.
Objective: Steal the blue french horn from the restaurant without getting caust and impress Robin on your first date. If you manage to get our of the restaurant without getting caught or stopped and successfully deliver the horn to Robin you will successfully pass this level.
Scenario: After screwing up his first date with Robin by telling her he loved her, Ted is desperate for a second date. In an attempt to appear casual and set up a scenario in which he can see Robin, Ted decides to throw a party, however he needs to casually run into Robin in order to invite her.
Objective: Using Robin’s television reports, find out where she is and get to her location before her life report is over to invite her to the party. Make sure you don’t move too fast and work up a big sweat as that would tip Robin off to the casualness of the plan. Successfully catch Robin at the end of her segment and invite her to your part and you will pass this level.
Scenario: Ted has rediscovered an old shirt that he hasn’t worn in years, and decides to alter his search for his one true love by revisiting some of his past girlfriends to see if things could work out. Ted decides that he prematurely dumped his past girlfriend Natalie and gets back together with her. After dating for 3 weeks Ted decides again that she isn’t the one for him. He decides to break up with her at the restaurant.
Objective: Break up with Natalie and get out of the restaurant without suffering the wrath of Natalie. Be aware, Natalie has become an expert in krav maga, a hand-to-hand combat system developed in Israel and is mostly known for its extremely efficient and brutal counter-attacks. Leave the restaurant unscathed and you will pass this level. BONUS: Successfully complete the “Ickey Shuffle” before the end of your dinner with Natalie and gain double the points.
Scenario: It’s Halloween and Ted is making his yearly pilgrimage to the rooftop in search of the slutty pumpkin girl he met and lost years ago. All Ted knows about this girl is that she studied penguins and made a unique drink called “The Tootsie Roll”. This drink was a combination of Kahlua and Root beer.
Objective: You have to bartend at the Halloween party on the rooftop in the hopes of finding the slutty pumpkin with her unique drink choice. Mix the drinks for the people in line in the hopes of finding this dream girl. Make sure you don’t keep the crowd waiting too long for their drinks and make sure they taste delicious otherwise they will not hesitate to throw you out. Keep the crowd happy and you will pass this level.
Scenario: Lily has permanently moved in with Ted and Marshall. While everything seems like it will stay the same, Ted feels as though he is being kicked out of the apartment by both Marshall and Lily. In an attempt to claim ownership of the apartment, Ted gets into a sword fight with Marshall.
Objective: Defeat Marshall in the duel to retain ownership of the apartment. Beat Marshall in the sword fight and you will successfully pass this level.
Scenario: It’s Thanksgiving and Robin and Ted have decided to spend the holiday feeding the homeless. They are shocked when they learn that Barney is a regular volunteer at the homeless shelter.
Objective: Successfully steal the serving ladle from Barney and serve 20 homeless people before the crowd turns on you and you get thrown out. But be careful you don’t splash the food on the trays of the homeless otherwise they will become quickly agitated. BONUS: Make the Erickson 7 layer salad and serve it to at least 5 people and double your points for this level.
Scenario: Ted has been invited to his friends Claudia and Stuart’s back-tie wedding. In an attempt to impress and woo Robin, Ted asks Robin to be his date. Robin agrees, however Ted soon realizes there is one major problem, he didn’t check that he was bringing a guest on his RSVP card.
Objective: Run between Claudia and Stuart and complete whatever tasks they want you to complete in order to be able to bring a guest to their wedding. But be careful, if you do not successfully complete even one of their tasks Claudia and Stuart will break up and there will be no wedding to take Robin to.
Scenario: Ted is disappointed and alone after Robin has to cancel the date to Claudia and Stuart’s wedding after she is called into work. But all is not lost when Ted sees a beautiful woman from across the room. The following morning Ted tells Marshall and Lily about this wonderful woman and the amazing night he had.
Objective: Find the woman you had the amazing night with, the only catch is she didn’t tell you anything truly identifying about herself except for her first name. Retrace your steps from the previous night and find clues that will lead you to the mystery woman.
Scenario: Ted invites his new girlfriend Victoria to attend game night with himself, Marshall, Lily, Barney, and Robin. No matter what the game is, Marshall always wins the game, so this time the others decide Marshall should run game night. Marshall decides to create his own game based on some of his other favorite games and he calls it “Marshgammon”.
Objective: Successfully get through Marshgammon without telling the re-return story and you will pass this level. Be aware, Marshgammon is a deviously crafted game that combines elements of Candy Land, I Never Pictionary, poker, Twister, and Taboo. This will be no easy task avoiding the telling of this story, and the more you drink the closer you will be to telling the re-return.
Scenario: Victoria has moved to Germany as she received a prestigious culinary grant to study baking. Ted is struggling with this long distance relationship and feels guilty as Victoria has sent him three care packages and he hasn’t sent her any. While talking on the phone one night Ted impulsively tells Victoria he sent her a care package a few days ago.
Objective: Assemble a care package with New York themed items and top off the package with a New York Times from three days ago. Successfully complete the care package and mail it to Victoria and you will complete the level. However, be advised it will not be an easy task finding a New York Times from three days ago.
Ted is convinced Victoria is going to break up with him and is waiting by the phone for Victoria’s call. While awaiting the phone call, Robin invites Ted over to her apartment. Ted agrees as he believes his relationship is pretty much over with Victoria and he believes Robin might be inviting him over as more than just a friend.
Objective: Call Victoria and leave a break-up message on her phone before 2 AM, as we all know nothing good ever happens after 2 AM. Be on the look out, as Ted’s conscious is going to creep up on you and try and deter you from making that phone call.
Scenario: Robin is nominated for a Local Area Media Award (LAMA) and Robin has invited everyone. Everyone was invited 3 months ago and he stated he was going to bring Victoria. However know, Ted has broken up with Victoria and ruined his chances with Robin. Barney brings a date for Ted to the banquet and tells him she is a prostitute.
Objective: Get through the banquet without letting on that your date, Mary, is a prostitute. Make her cover story of being a paralegal believable by bringing more alcoholic drinks to your table and by keeping Mary away from Robin. If anyone finds out, other than Barney, that she is a prostitute you will have to leave the banquet out of pure shame and embarrassment.
Scenario: Marshall and Lily are trying to find a band for their wedding. They find out that Van Smoot is suddenly available, however Lily won’t hire them until she hears them play her and Marshall’s song, “Good Feeling” by the Violent Femmes. Lily and Robin go to were The 88 is playing to hear them play, they soon realize they will have to go back to high school as The 88 is playing at a high school prom.
Objective: The 88 have agreed to play Marshall and Lily’s song however they need the sheet music. Marshall and Ted have to sneak into prom and deliver the sheet music to The 88 before the prom is over. Be aware, there is strict security at the prom and it won’t be easy getting in, and once you get into prom you will have to fend off Robin and Lily’s dates to get to the band.
Scenario: Lily is having some doubts about marrying Marshall and has applied for an art fellowship in San Francisco. She confides in Ted about her doubts and tells him she wants to see if she can get into this art fellowship and see what happens.
Objective: In being the dutiful best man to Marshall, do whatever it takes to make sure Lily doesn’t get to her required interview in New Haven for this art fellowship.
Scenario: In a final attempt to win over Robin, Ted surprises her in her apartment with candy, flowers, and a group of musicians with blue instruments. Robin is surprised, however she cannot give Ted a definite answer to his question. Ted is frustrated with this, but becomes even more frustrated when he learns that Robin’s company camping trip is back on and her co-worker Sandy Rivers is trying to date her.
Objective: Successfully do a rain dance and make it rain to stop Robin’s company camping trip. You will have a short tutorial by a woman Barney hooked up with who has a Ph. D. in Native American studies. Make sure you make it rain before Robin leaves for the trip and Sandy Rivers puts the moves on her.
This would be the first disc in the How I Met Your Mother video game franchise. Trust me when I say, this game could be LEGEN…what for it….DARY!!!!!!