We all go through a relationship break up – earlier or later, it happens to most of us. There are so many things that a young woman has to learn, and handling relationship break ups is one of them. Some women never learn and let relationship break ups take over their lives. You probably won’t be able to help your daughter get back with her ex, and my suggestion is that you don’t even attempt it. What you can do is help your daughter get over her heartbreak and teach her how to benefit from this learning experience.
When things didn’t work out with my first boyfriend, I was beyond upset. How could things not work out if we were already planning to get married and have kids. When I look back now, I am happy that things turned out the way they did – I was only 18 when we split up! Now, your daughter is lucky that she has you. If you follow my advice, you will not only help your daughter get over her breakup but will also save her from several months of grief, disappointment, and self-destruction.
So, to answer your question of “How Do I help my daughter get over heartbreak?”
First of all, do tell her that you are terribly sorry that things didn’t work out between the two of them. She needs your love, support, and understanding. Share your own breakup experience, if you are up to it. Your daughter needs to understand that she is very far from being the only one who is going through a relationship breakup experience. Breakups are part of life. But it’s up to her how she handles this experience and what she learns from it.
She may be looking for an explanation from her ex-boyfriend, she may want a revenge for hurt feelings, she may want to meet up with her ex and try to patch things up, but please stop her! It’s called a “break-up” because it’s broken. He didn’t appreciate her enough, they weren’t a good match, he wanted to explore other options – whatever the reason, your daughter and her ex weren’t meant to be together. And the last thing she needs to do is to chase him, text him, call him, accidentally run into him… It’s tough to let it go, but it’s going to be tougher if she lets him hurt her more – he is done, he is not the person she cared for, he is not the caring guy she thought he was.
But there are good news! There are so many women who are now happily married because they figured out how to make every breakup a learning experience. They figured out what kind of a man they wanted in their lives. They learned how to tell if a guy was a player, if he wasn’t ready to settle down, if he was the kind that didn’t need a committed relationship. Please tell your daughter that there’s nothing wrong with her. The breakup doesn’t make her less attractive to other guys. She is now free to choose the right guy. And the right guy is out there looking for her.
Finally, please tell your daughter she needs to be strong. It’s OK to cry when she is by herself. It’s OK to cry when she is surrounded by friends. But it’s not OK to show her ex how disappointed she is with the loss. It only makes him think that he made the right choice by breaking the relationship up. Right now she needs to go out with friends, find a hobby, do the things she used to enjoy before she got into the relationship. Not only will that help her get over him sooner, but it will also make him wonder if she was really that much into him. And he may even try to get her back! But he has missed his chance – your daughter has other options, and she will do so much better with someone else!
