For a long while I have always thanked God for any pain, suffering, ugliness or negativity I have felt because I reasoned early on in my search for God that if I had pain or suffering that it must have been intended because it
happened and Almighty God had to have known it would happen and He must have allowed it to happen and therefore I would thank God anytime I felt badly. But you must understand that I did not thank God for the release and relief during these times but I thanked Him for the actual pain and agony of the suffering itself.
I would always pass through these suffering moments to realize a release from the pain and great relief and at times when the suffering was especially acute would cry in my appreciation for the change. I knew just as the Bible says All Things Shall Pass. But during these times of appreciation I felt very removed from the average person because the common reaction to pain or suffering was to hate it, push it away and only be thankful for the good sensation of the relief from pain itself. I knew that not only was the sensation of discomfort of pain intended but it was necessary or it wouldn’t exist the way it feels at all so I continued to thank God no matter what the discomfort including what you might call frustration or feelings one might have if he were lied to or betrayed by someone or discomfort from physical conditions or even the everyday downs which seemed to follow great feelings of goodness, success or accomplishment for example.
Ultimately I Awakened. I was Enlightened through my work after practicing for 14 years the study of esoteric spirituality and following this Inspiration since I was 17 years old. I came to see the beauty in everything in the Present Moment of Now in which I now dwelt and realized myself to be nothing but the love for God I felt which I received from Grace. I continued to have great moments of Truth, Inspiration and a permanent state of happiness and bliss but would nevertheless still have suffering or agonizing moments much less frequent than most people but moments where nothing else could really be felt considering that it must be natural to have moments of pain in Life just because the potential for pain was always there.
But as I continued to thank God for moments of pain or discomfort while also thanking Him for feeling good and for any goodness that happened to me I would find myself thanking God all day long, day in and day out and gaining more and more happiness as the days went by. But suddenly I realized one day that while thanking God for my suffering moments when I had them I was only tolerating the suffering while thanking God which was all I thought I could do but upon reflection I realized that these moments of even ugliness were necessary and must exist for there to be the ecstasy of relief from them and so I reasoned that I must indeed not only thank God and tolerate these painful moments but must actually Love them just as I loved the moments following pain when it would suddenly go away.
I had all of a sudden completed myself in that all I recognized that mattered to me and all that my very existence really meant was my love for God which I received from God but in this new realization of being in love not only with Almighty God but with all sensations I had come to Love both the Darkness and the Light and was in myself complete. It was God Himself who told me that He appreciates it when you love the agony you feel.