Fresh from a Golden Globe win three weeks ago, Glee is back and bigger than ever. With a Super Bowl lead in and a tribute to Michael Jackson, this much-hyped episode is not one to miss. But, in case you did, here’s the scoop!
Tonight Glee is finally back after a cold and dark winter hiatus. Since it is airing after the Super Bowl, it is completely appropriate that this Glee episode is football-themed (even though, theoretically, the high school’s football season would be long past and the Glee crew would be scheming about how to get Artie on the basketball team).
The episode opens up with the Cheerios performing fire-filled stunts to Katy Perry’s “California Gurls”. Complete with blue wigs, sparkler filled mini-megaphone bras and BMX bike stunts. But Sue is bored. Becky hands out chicken culets to the girls for more jiggling to add interest, but nothing works for Sue. Quinn tells Sue that her only problem is her need to keep topping herself and that the routine is fine.
On the football field, Finn is giving a pep talk to the Titans while in the huddle. This is the last game before the big championship game. Somehow, this leads to a fight with the ever-prickly, closeted Dave Karofsky and they get into a fight. Krof threatens to let Finn get smushed on the next play. Well, this is exactly what Finn has been worried about all year. As a result, Finn freaks out, drops the ball and the other team scores.
Back in the locker room Beiste wants some answers about that sloppy performance. Finn blames Krof for picking on him about glee club and messing with his head on the field. The football players and the glee boys fight over the sissiness of the glee club.
Sue’s worried about being bored with her life. She’s gotten a misspelled, self-portrait tattoo on her back and is taking raccoon hormones, but nothing helps. (Midlife crisis, anyone?) Inspired by a cartoon cannon, she decides shooting a Cheerio out of a cannon is just what the doctor ordered to get her out of her funk.
In the hallway, the football team gangs up on Artie with a slushie overload, prompting Beiste and Will to try to sort out the problem between the glee club and the football team. Beiste is worried about the championship game next week because half of her starters are glee guys and they are not all working as a team with the other football players. Will tells Beiste to trust him to get the team united again.
Glee boys freak out in the choir room when they see Artie and want to go rumble with the football players. Just then, the football guys walk in, slushies in hand. The potential Jets and Sharks showdown is pre-empted, however, by the arrival of Beiste and Will. They’ve decided to make it mandatory for the football team to join New Directions for the week, so they can try to find some common ground.
Rachel and Puck perform Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” to show football team what glee club is all about (and to make Finn jealous). Rachel sings with longing looks at Finn. Finn looks like he might be changing his mind about her. Meanwhile, Puck sings angrily to Krof. (You know Krof is secretly turned on). One of the football guys calls Puck the “girl with the Mohawk” and the rumble is on.
Fade to commercial:
This is the commercial break featuring the Glee Chrysler commercial. You can check it out here.
Now back to the show:
Puck and Finn stare at the trophy case wistfully and Puck proposes they become like Maverick and Iceman (at the end of TopGun) and team up to win the big game.
Sue’s going to shoot poor Brittany out of the cannon. Brittany is scared, “I don’t want to die yet. At least not ’til One Tree Hill gets cancelled,” she moans. Sue tests the cannon a dummy instead and blows it to pieces.
Will tells Figgins that Sue is trying to blow up Cheerios. Figgins says no firing people out of the cannon without their consent. Sue loses it and smashes up the office… and the hall… and the locker room (with “Carmina Burana” playing perfectly in the background). She tells Will and Beiste that the gloves are off. She has pulled strings and now the cheerleaders’ Regionals are going to be the same time as Championship game. Therefore, the Titans will have no halftime show (guess the band doesn’t count around here) and no cheerleaders for the big game.
Will and Beiste have an idea. They propose that the glee club (including the football players) perform at halftime. Predictably, the football guys are against it and as far as the Cheerios Glee girls go, they will have to choose. Will announces that they are performing MJ’s “Thriller” in a mash-up with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Heads Will Roll” and everyone feels a little bit better about the show.
After zombie dance practice, Will pulls Krof aside and tells him he’s really good. If he refocused his energy, he could be “one of the most talented guys in the school,” Will tells him. Krof wants to talk to Finn about doing a warm up before the “Thiller” mash-up and Finn’s surprised he’s so interested.
Is there a heart of gold in big ol’ Krof somewhere? Can he be redeemed? Stay tuned to find out…
Sue is eavesdropping in the bathroom and overhears the glee Cherrios worrying about how to choose between cheer and glee. Sue hands out resignation forms (and a note for Brittany from the cannon saying it misses her.) They have to choose and they decide resign from glee club.
Finn confronts Quinn in the hallway and can’t believe she would quit glee club. Sam sees Finn yelling at Quinn and he’s not happy. This leads to a long-overdue confrontation where Sam suggests that maybe he should be the leader of glee. This degenerates into a girly push fight and a frustrated Will breaks it up.
The glee guys and football players perform “She’s Not There” by the Zombies as zombies for the rest of the club. Will loves it and Krof looks like he’s finally having fun.
Just when they are bonding and feeling generally great about themselves, the glee and football guys get slushied by the hockey team (Oh…how the tables have turned). Krof tells the hockey dudes that the show is going to be awesome. The hockey team responds to that news with derision and slushies.
Krof does not do well with being bullied and wants to quit. Beiste tells him if leaves, he’s off them team and that she is willing to throw the game and lose all of them if that’s what it takes. The football guys hesitate for a second and then walk out.
Cut to the Dalton Warblers for our weekly Kurt and Blaine fix. The Warblers are practicing for the upcoming Regionals (a thing you rarely see New Directions doing except maybe in the bus on the way there). They sing “Bills, Bills, Bills” by Destiny’s Child. It’s a good arrangement and will be a number one iTunes download if it’s not already.
Mercedes and Rachel have coffee with Blaine and Kurt. Finn apparently doesn’t tell Kurt anything even though Kurt brings him warm milk nightly. Turns out Blaine is a football fan and he tells the girls that all is not lost, they only need four more players to keep from forfeiting the game.
Beiste is ready to forfeit the game; she can’t get anyone to cross the picket line and play on the team. Rachel has an idea. The glee girls want to join the football team for the game. The boys and Will are worried about them getting hurt. The girls fill them in on their plan to just be on the field and lay down so they don’t get tackled and everyone is on board.
Sue bullies Britt into signing the consent form to get into the cannon. (I really don’t think Britt is legally competent enough to be signing anything.) Sue spins a tale about baby cannon and papa cannon and Britt puts her “X” on the form.
Well, it’s time for the big game and the girls are all suited up and ready to go. Finn starts the game by throwing an interception and the game goes downhill from there until Tina picks up a fumbled ball and makes a run for the end zone. She gets tackled for her effort but is fine.
Well, the forty-third plan this episode belongs to Finn and here it is: he wants Sam to qb the rest of the half so he can go get the cheerleaders and he wants Puck to talk Krof and the guys into doing the show.
After an impassioned speech by Finn, the glee girls decide to quit Cheerios just as they are about to board the bus for Regionals. Sue has no performance without them and I just know this spells trouble. The cannon looms ominously in the background.
Puck yells at football guys in the locker room about being big losers and that they suck if they don’t get off their butts and do the halftime show and suit up for the second half of the game. Krof is resistant but the rest of the guys are in.
The glee club, football players and band (ah, they do have a band… played by the USC Trojan Marching Band) perform at halftime with Artie talking the lead.
The crowd loves it and Krof starts to regret his decision. He runs on the field and joins in the show. Many post-performance-man-hugs for Krof ensue.
The team goes back to the locker room and Beiste not only lets the wayward players come back, she tells them to keep their zombie makeup on to scare the other team.
The Titans force a fumble and the momentum shifts their way. Krof and Finn are high fiving each other on the field. They hatch a plan to creep out the other team by yelling for “Brains!” to get them to fumble. It works and the Titans win the game.
Katie Couric interviews Sue for “Loser of the Year”. Sue beat out many losers for the title including: the economy, Mel Gibson, the housing market, Dina Lohan, Tiger Woods, Brett Farve’s cell phone, the Dallas Cowboys, Wall Street and even Dina Lohan’s dog, Sparky. When asked how she feels now that her Cheerio budget going to the glee club and then treated to a clip of Katie interviewing a gloating Will, Sue responds with, “I hate you Diane Sawyer!”
Finn finds Krof in the hallway and tells him he needs to sort out things out with Kurt if he wants to join the glee club. Krof shuts him down. There’s no way he’s joining glee club because he’s on top right now. Why would he want to change things?
Quinn thanks Finn for talking her into staying with glee club and tells him that this week reminded her why she loved him in the first place…and then she kisses him. Uh-oh…
Next week: Valentine’s Day episode and Finn kissing everyone (for money).