Once the holidays were over, our fave celebrities have been going about their charmed lives, doing what they do best, which is partying and giving out unwanted advice and unasked for tidbits of info about themselves. C’mon though. We love it anyway, so let’s get started with some of the more mind-blowing headlines during January 2011. What better one to start with than…
Jessica Simpson Loves Her Boyfriend’s Butt
Now be honest, Jess. Didn’t you love John Mayer’s and Tony Romo’s butt just as much as this guy Eric’s? Our girl Jessica was so overwhelmed with love regarding her beau, Eric Johnson, and his butt, that she went on her Twitter account to shout it from the rooftops, and also to thank the Lord above. And what she said was…. seriously, this is what she actually twittered …. “Thank you Lord for blessing me with a man that has the perfect tush. Laying my hands upon it with peace.” Jessica doesn’t know what “TMI” means. Someone should tell her that she is relaying a little too much info for our virgin ears to handle. I like it when a celebrity shares some of the joys in their lives, but we don’t really need to hear exactly where Jessica is putting her hands these days. Still, good luck, Jess. Hope he’s the real deal.
Kathie Lee Gifford Says She’s Never Turned On A Computer
I believe that, don’t you? For someone who could easily afford the very best computer, why aren’t we shocked that Kathie has never hit the Enter button? I guess it’s because she doesn’t seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed. She even admitted such in her quote which read “Technical stuff does not come very easy to me. I prefer people over machines.” Now, Kathie, most of us who have dipped our toes into the technological stuff around today, also prefer people over machines. Who wouldn’t? But that doesn’t mean we shun the 21st century’s fun stuff when it comes to technology. She goes on to say “I’ve got the same little address book I’ve had forever. It never lets me down”. But I’ll bet it has a lot of names and numbers crossed out and all kinds of little writings penciled in between lines. Computers are neat and clean. Try it sometime, Kathie.
Angelina Jolie & Her Lip Gloss Choice For The Golden Globes
Angelina Jolie always manages to make the celebrity headlines. Whether it’s adopting another child from another third world country, or re-applying lip gloss at an awards event, the woman just makes headlines. This past month had our girl doing the latter. Keen-eyed reporters caught her in the act, and then we just had to know. What was the brand? What was the color? We were waiting, holding our breaths in anticipation, and finally, Angelina’s makeup person let the cat out of the bag. It was …. wait for it … Chantecaille Brilliant Gloss in Love. Now before we all run out to buy it, we’d better make sure we have enough money in our checking accounts, because even though I have no idea how much that brand costs, I’m guessing it’s mucho money. Maybe I’ll stick with my Hi-Gloss Strawberry Fiesta from the makeup aisle in my local pharmacy for now until I get a raise.
Meet Orlando Bloom’s Newborn Son and His Wife Miranda’s Breast
Okay, maybe the headline didn’t exactly read like that, but it might as well have. The message boards were all lit up that day when a picture came out of the lovely Miranda and her newborn son attached to her breast for all the world to see. Now, I admit it was a beautiful picture. But shouldn’t that kind of picture be in the category of sharing just a bit too much with the public? Shouldn’t that be a very private picture for her and Orlando to look at? Does she really feel comfortable sharing that with her parents and her in-laws as well as the rest of us with ogling eyes? My prediction is that next year at this time, we will see Jessica Simpson with a baby attached to her breast too. These young girls don’t seem to have any boundaries.
Lamar Odom: I Was Surprised By Khloe Kardashian’s Intelligence
Really, Lamar? You really said that? And Khloe didn’t deck you when she heard it? That’s a distorted and backhanded compliment if I ever heard one. It’s nice he thinks she’s intelligent, but it’s not so nice that he seemed surprised that she actually was. Do men ever think before they say stuff? The interview with Lamar got even a little worse than that. He went on to say “When people see us in person, they see Khloe’s not small and I’m not small”. Really again, Lamar? Khloe didn’t kick you where it hurts for that little statement? She may not be small, but you should never, ever, EVER, say those words. She’s your little woman, remember that if you want to stay married. Lamar should stop speaking to reporters altogether.
Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Out Advice To Working Moms
Let it be known that January 2011 is the month that Gwyneth Paltrow put her big foot in her big mouth. I’m sure her intentions were admirable. She was merely trying to offer her pearls of wisdom on how to juggle motherhood with career and the rest of her life. But it came across as extremely haughty and very much out of touch with most young working moms across the country. Just to give you an idea, Gwyneth extolled the helpful benefits of a personal hairstylist, a personal trainer, a personal assistant, and accupuncture, all the while fitting in time for quality “hug” time with hubby and children whilst preparing healthy meals using ingredients the rest of us have never heard of, and even if we did, our local grocery stores wouldn’t carry it. I’m sure Gwyneth is a multi-tasking whiz in her world. She should just do what she does and realize that she has all the help she could ever possibly want, so her being organized doesn’t really impress us.
Charlie Sheen Parties All Through January & Ends Up In Rehab
All month long we have been entertained by hearing stories of Charlie’s partying with porn stars and his drug activities. When it comes to the ladies, I think Charlie wants to be the next Hugh Hefner. One article even mentioned that Charlie was thinking of purchasing a mansion where all the “actresses” he dates can live together, and I guess he imagines them all having sex together every day. But the problem is that he has to actually be awake in order to do that. And passing out and being taken out on stretchers from a 911 call every other day is going to cramp that lifestyle in a big way.
He was the amazing “bounce back” man when we heard stories of days-long carousing, only to be followed by an account of his “professionalism” on the set of Two & A Half Men right afterwards. But I think it has fallen apart over the last couple of days. It’s being reported now that Charlie Sheen has entered rehab and Two & A Half Men is going on hiatus. If I was one of his co-workers, I’d be furious with him for messing with my career. But on a personal note, Charlie has a comedic talent and I hope he gets his act together this time. ….. But I wouldn’t put my money on it. Unfortunately.
So there you have it for January 2011. We have February coming up next which includes Valentine’s Day, so I’m looking forward to lots of love and romance stories. I wonder what body part Jessica’s hands will wander to in February. I wonder if Angelina Jolie will either adopt or apply makeup during the coming month. And I wonder if Charlie will manage to seduce any of the female workers at whatever rehab he is currently in. Should make for some good headlines. Later.