I have, in recent past, come to grips with the fact that I no longer have anything I care enough to write or talk about. “What’s the point?” I find myself saying aloud, to myself. A recent disturbance in the very bonds of reality has come to my attention, however. This disturbance has disturbed me, you, and anyone fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to have a Facebook account. Yes, dear friend, I am speaking of the number posts. I woke up, as I always do after my long nights of loneliness, to go to a job that occupies much of my time. Given, I have a job, so I have a life. Facebook isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities. Yet, like an alzheimers patient, I log into it through my phone every day, to see what’s going on with people that I know of (but really don’t care enough to ask about). The first thing I see goes as follows “#69 I’m glad you came into my life. WIthout you I would be nothing. I miss spending those long days in the janitor’s closet with you at highschool (wink wink) and if you hadn’t gotten laid off halfway through my 10th grade year and I hadn’t of began dating John Daily, I know we could’ve made it!” Now, I’m not one to poke and prod at little annoying things like this (which is a lie), but there are some things that I really don’t care about. What you think of someone else that isn’t me (and sometimes, that list includes me), is one of those things. If you really want to tell someone how you feel, don’t spout it tot he Goddamn world. I am 21 years old. Typically, someone that is 21, would go along with this craze. The outbreak of this fad, so sadly, has brought me to one conclusion. I don’t fucking understand why you’re doing this! To what end will this bring you? Are you all doing this in hopes to get laid? I’m only 21 and you are all making me feel like a confused 46 year old that simply understand the youth of the day. I am a Goddamn youth. Why the fuck are you doing this?! The sheer irrationality of it all is driving me insane. I went to work with a smile on my face, frost on my balls (it’s a little chilly at five in the morning), and the thought that I was actually going to get some work done today. By the end of the day, you people had ninja’d my brain to the extent that I don’t understand life anymore. Your pitiful, desperate attempts at human interaction and sharing of emotions have severed my sanity from what your apparent world might call reality. Perhaps, just maybe, I’m left as one of the few proud, truly sane people of the earth, that realize this unholy act of the masses is a show of how easily our society will bend in their desperate pleas for attention. “Look at me! Look at me! Let me just feel ANYTHING from ANYONE!” Is what you all are shouting with every Goddamn number you post into your status. I don’t if I should laugh at the futility of it all or cry at the sadness. Truly, you have made my day a living hell and one that I shall not soon forget, nor forgive.
All in all, would you like to know my honest analysis of the whole debaucherous act of Facebook? Besides the opinion that I had already stated, of course. I believe that this a thinly veiled plot, from the desperate of the desperate, to get laid. That is all and that is why I am against it. Because if you can’t get laid the normal way (like me), I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you get laid from some foolish stunt like this.