Emotional and mental wellbeing is behavior related rather than a health condition that requires medical attention. To be mentally well, typically, you ought to estimate and recognize yourself as a valuable person in your own right worthy of love and happiness, otherwise you will always be anxious and apprehensive that other people will reject and underestimate you, furthermore, you will become incapacitated to face life’s challenges. As a normal reaction to your lack of self esteem, you keep people at a distance, and go through life feeling disturbed, lonesome, and panicky when hit by a disaster.
Mental distress is not inevitable. However, if you don’t estimate and accept yourself, you will definitely feel mentally troubled and desperate through life’s adversities.
What causes our mental instability?
We undergo mental instability and emotional insecurity when we don’t esteem and accept ourselves. This way of thinking is usually attributed to our childhood when we decided we must be unworthy of parent’s love, to justify the belittling or the dreadful treatment of our parents. This unfavorable childhood background makes us incapable to recognize ourselves as valuable individuals, and to cope with the catastrophes we encounter in life as adults.
THE FAKE REFUGE.
Whenever we fear we are cracking down and losing the challenge, we blame ourselves for the calamity that has befallen us, and becoming more distressed in the process, rather than tackling it.
We identify the source of our fear and would not dare approach it, but rather resort to some futile defense to hold on to like trying to maintain a hectic lifestyle, or becoming obsessed with exaggerated security. We retreat into our own inner shell and give up any attempt to understand the world around us the way other people do. We don’t consciously choose a particular defense. Instead, we subconsciously resort to the one defense accessible to us as our way out.
If we dreadfully need other people in our life, but see ourselves as unworthy and unlovable, we conceal our resentment and let them walk all over us because we dare not show our displeasure least the people we care about leave us.
How to overcome your emotional fragility
The keyword is recognition and acceptance, recognize that you’ve spent all your adult life believing you’re unacceptable and insignificant, and accept that you have the potential to change even though the change is hard to achieve because all your concepts and behaviors are based on this well established childhood misconception.
You need to develop alertness to how you believe in yourself, and slowly but surely build your way up to self confidence and positive consciousness to substitute the negative concept of your past. Try writing down the situations that were upsetting to you and how exactly did you react to them, and think of supportive and encouraging things to say to yourself.
Writing down the causes and effects puts your thinking into a logical prospective, and helps you develop a clear vision about yourself.
Remember, it’s not life’s catastrophes that contribute to our mental breakability but how we react to them, and the way we see ourselves is the central point of every choice we make in life.