This past Thanksgiving, my family gathered at my grandma’s house as usual to have our Thanksgiving pig out. All my life, we had white or other non black friends/family gather with us for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners.
But this time was a little different. My cousin invited a friend from work and her two teenage kids. We all got up to fix our massive plates of food, and our white guests seemed to be hesitant to get something.
Well, they were just meeting us, so maybe they didn’t want to be a greedy pig right away, but the mother and her teenage son finally fixed themselves a plate, while the teenage daughter stood back and watched.
We asked her if she was going to get something, and she said no. (Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?) After everyone bugged her about if for a while, she finally got a chicken drumstick and plain white rice and sat down and took at couple of bites.
Everyone was like, “Is that all you want”, and she just smiled and took another bite, then went on the porch. She was really skinny, but she didn’t look like she had an eating disorder or anything. Her mother said, “She doesn’t like to eat”. Then I got worried about her.
I tried not to take it too seriously, because I don’t like to eat in front of strangers either. I thought she was just shy. After they left, the cousin that invited them said that someone had given the cats outside a big drumstick. There was a lot of kids at our dinner that were wasting food, but then it clicked, “Oh my gosh. The girl went outside on the porch to throw her food out to the cats.” That’s when I felt really sorry for her.
Obviously, she only ate a few bites just to make us happy. But I can’t figure out why she would be watching her weight when she is approximately a size two or three.
She spent most of her time outside because the rest of us were chowing down, and I have learned that people with eating disorders don’t like to be around others who are eating.
That incident made her stick out like a soar thumb because she was white amongst us blacks, yet she didn’t want to eat and we were stuffing our faces. It made me wonder why some white girls are so weight conscious even if they are supermodel skinny.
Black women aren’t as afraid of food as white women are. That’s not always a good thing because there is this thing called “overweight” and “obesity”. I do think that black women need to take into account that being overweight isn’t good rather you like your body or not. But white women are more likely to feel fat or overweight even when they are nearly skin and bones.
I remember a white girl on the internet called me fat after I said I was a size five. I was like, “What kind of culture do white people have where they think it’s okay to teach each other girls that being a size five is fat?” Let’s remind ourselves that Jessica Simpson’s infamous weight gain brought her up to a size five, and people were calling her fat also. What kind of country is this?
Anytime a white woman has any meat on her bones, other white women call her fat. This is why white girls struggle with anorexia and bulimia more than people of color. It’s really not fair to them to have to adapt to a culture that requires them to be below a size five in order to be beautiful.
Black women on the other hand embrace having meat on their bones. Black men embrace the bodies of black women too. Is this whole body image thing about what men like? If white men loved hips and booty as much as black men, will white women finally stop feeling fat?
Men can’t be what makes the woman feel she needs to be skinny, because most women are not skinny, and they still have a man. Why would any woman feel like she has to be skinny to be attractive when most women look the same way she does?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, but there is nothing healthy about not eating. When you find yourself simply skipping meals, then you are not watching your health–you’re just watching your weight. And when you focus on your weight only, you are going to find yourself doing a lot of ridiculous things to keep your weight off. Focus on your health and well being-not on meeting up to standards that no one wants to meet.
Most women who are naturally skinny don’t even like to be skinny. I know this because I didn’t like to be skinny at one point in my life. And the women in the media who are working out like crazy to stay fit don’t enjoy it either, that’s why their weight fluctuates so much. Whenever they take a break from the spotlight, they start putting on weight because they only kept their weight down for image purposes. No one wants to be skinny for real! Not even skinny people!
Skinny is not always cute. As a matter of fact, it’s usually not cute. Some people look better slimmer, but many people look better with some meat on their bones-not fat, but not skinny either.
I just want you to know that a lot of the people that women want to look like don’t even want to look like that themselves. Some of them have eating disorders, too. Please don’t aspire to be like them. After seeing that the girl at our Thanksgiving dinner didn’t want to eat, her skinny body that I thought was all natural suddenly became a sick body. I do think she may have a problem, and I hope her mom does more than just sit there and say, “She doesn’t like to eat” as if it’s normal to not eat.
Moms, please make sure your girls have healthy eating habits.
Other articles you may be interested in:
5 Reasons Why You’re Struggling with Your Weight
Love Thy Self: An Article for Teenage Girls: Love Thy Body
Love Thy Self: An Article for Black Women: Love Thy Body Image