Nobody wants to get old, I think that most people will agree with that, and yet there is not a lot that we can do about growing older, except to try and embrace our age as gracefully as we can.
It’s not much fun growing older, but the question arises as to whether seeing the funny side of aging, especially for those of us in the Baby Boomer generation, helps us to better deal with the challenges and obstacles that we face as we get older.
Old people and the problems associated with getting older are the subject of many jokes, and while these are amusing to younger generations, I think that it helps us folk who are now approaching the age of those in the jokes to laugh along with them and to see the funny side of life.
Health becomes a major concern as we get older, and rather than become depressed about our changing bodily shape, or problems with our bodily functions, we ought to maybe just laugh about them, for example as below:
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull … but that’s not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it — almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter … either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires !
(c2003 Linda S Amstutz. You can read more of Ms Amstutz’s humor at www.anotherlinda.com)
Bladder problems are something that many people have to deal with as they get older, and many find it hard to come to terms with having to wear some form of protection against leakage for example. There are alternatives however, such as a change in lifestyle:
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today..”
The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.”
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming up,” says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, “I would like to buy you one, too.”
The old woman says, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”
As you grow older and your health deteriorates, every trip to the doctor for a check-up is made with trepidation and fear, in case they find something wrong with you that you were not aware of.
When the doctor prescribes us drugs, especially to combat a condition that we seem to have no obvious symptoms of, for example high cholesterol, we can develop a fear in case the drugs themselves will have some unwanted side effect.
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”
One problem area that has had a big impact on many families with aging parents and grandparents is Dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, where the memory gradually disappears, and suddenly people forget who they are, can’t recognize loved ones, and more often than not have to be placed in a home where they can be looked after 24/7.
As we grow older, it’s not always easy to detect that we may be starting to suffer from memory loss, although a lot of us can identify with experiencing problems like this:
An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to.
She was hysterical as she explained her situation to the dispatcher: “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” she cried.
The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.”
A few minutes later, the officer radioed in. “Disregard.” He said. “She got in the back-seat by mistake.”
Of course as we get older it’s not always just one thing that starts to go wrong with our bodies, as those of us who are approaching our retirement years or who are already there understand only too well.
Eyesight, hearing and other senses are affected as we get older, but all too often as time goes on and these get gradually worse, we learn to live with the condition, and frequently fail to appreciate just how bad things have got:
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this terrible problem with gas, I can’t seem to stop farting. They never smell and are always silent but it’s still a problem all the same. Believe it or not I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.”
The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady comes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts stink terribly!”
The doctor says, “Good!!! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”
Hearing problems are something that I have personally suffered with for years. I often find it hard to pick out one sound from another, for example when I am in a noisy restaurant, I can’t hear what each person is saying clearly, and often can’t hear the music in the background.
Thankfully I haven’t got to the point where I need a hearing aid, but I do find it mentally challenging when someone talks to me and I didn’t catch the first few words that they spoke. I often then have quite a challenge to try and figure out what they said to me.
A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four hundred dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor, ‘What kind is it?’
I hope you enjoyed these jokes, as old as they are, and I hope that you also will agree with me that if we can ourselves see the funny side of growing older, we are better equipped to deal with whatever hand life deals us,
If you got some good laughs out of reading this, and I hope that you did, you can find many more jokes like these at Jokes For Baby Boomers .
I will leave you with just one more, which I hope never happens to me, although I am sure one day it will:
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘You know Bob, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Bob replies, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’
‘Really!!!? Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’
Don’t forget to grow old gracefully…
Jokes For Baby Boomers