Alas, it is that time of year again! Sure, there’s that gift-giving and merriment. But it’s really time to complain about the tiniest of things that you refuse to do to make another’s experience easier or more enjoyable.
A lot of people are upset enough to write an entire article about how it’s so much trouble for them to dial “1” for English. A lot of people have even bought a T-shirt that expresses their displeasure with having to do the same. Yes, most of the country speaks English at the moment, and your skin color was here second or third. But when traversing a phone menu of at least 30 button presses, which never even gets you to the correct person you need… if it’s that ONE button that bothers you…you are an asshole.
Let’s look at this closely. The act of pressing ONE single button is so difficult and upsetting to you, but this enables someone to operate in society who might not otherwise be able to do so. That tiny act on your part might mean the difference between a non-English speaking person being able to address an issue with the power company which will allow them to keep their heat on for the winter. Or, it may even allow them to speak to busty singles in their area. Whatever.
But then again, it may have been Jesus who once said, “When in Rome, speak like the Romans or get the f–k out!”. “And don’t make the Romans hit any extra buttons either!” And then I think he threw down the phone and muttered some stuff about money-changers.
Speaking of Jesus, his birthday (observed) is coming up, and a lot of people freak out when they hear the scariest words every uttered by man. No, not ” Rosie O’Donnell is here, and she’s naked”. The words are “Happy Holidays”. I hear that we all have to say “Happy Holidays” because “someone complained”. Why can’t we show any consideration for our fellow man until someone complains? (But let’s be honest, no one actually complained except you.) Why can’t you just proactively include all people as a preemptive gesture of good will? (Especially those who you already know do not believe what you do?) Or at least not pitch a fit when someone else does?
Why does it pain you to say “Happy Holidays” or even to read it on a catalog of women’s lingerie? Yeah, it was there. Maybe you didn’t see it. But it’s a small thing. It can be done without any actual effort on your part, save basic consideration. It can be a nice thing to say. It does not make the baby Jesus weep. It does not make the baby Jesus any less real. Or any more real, for that matter. Yes, “holiday” comes from “holy day”. And the Pope used to wear diamond underwear. Who the fuck cares? What’s your point? How is that license to be shitty to people?
Happy Holidays, assholes.