Communicating about sex with your husband can be a hard thing for some women, no matter how long you’ve been sharing the same bed. This is especially true if you have been sweethearts since you were young. Though it may seem contradictory since you grew up together, sometimes the shyness in that area stays the same as it was when you were in high school. It is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. One thing that can really help open up the lines of communication about this important topic is to create a fantasy notebook together.
Supplies That You Will Need
All you need for this way of communicating about sex with your husband is a notebook and a pen. If you want to make it more special, get a novelty notebook or locked diary and a fun novelty pen to match. As things progress, you can add a wealth of colors for codes, such as blue means a sweet loving want, pink a more romantic need or red a risque idea the two of you can try together.
Getting it Started
Start out with a small love note or letter to your husband explaining that you have created this fantasy notebook to grow closer and spice things up with him. If you are not comfortable detailing a specific fantasy of yours right away, ask him to write down one of his to get things moving. Your willingness to do this may be just the spur he needs to open up to you about your marital sex life. If nothing else, write down a sensual time that you really enjoyed with him. Sometimes a memory can be the starting point for a new idea that is along the same lines.
Always Keep it Going
Once you overcome the initial embarrassment of communicating about sex with your husband, it may surprise you how easy it becomes to share more and more with him. The trick is to make a pact to, at the very least, take turns writing in it every week. Don’t let this stop you from sharing something in it if you desire to do so though. The only reason to make that rule is to ensure that both of you write in it and the idea of creating a fantasy notebook together doesn’t go stale. Write in it as much as you want, but you must at least write in it yourself every other week.
Use it Only for Good, Not Evil
Under no circumstances do you write about anything in this notebook that is unhappy. Save your issues for other places. If you feel the need to write to him about something wrong in your marriage, create a notebook for that purpose. This notebook is only for fantasies. It is a world where the two of you have no issues to work out, only dreams to work on. You can include non-sexual things, such as favorite memories or just a little note to tell him how much you love him or how sexy he is in his favorite boxers. The only hard-fast rule is that what you write about are the good things in your life together. From there, it is all about what please the both of you.
Communicating about sex with your husband does not have to be hard or uncomfortable. Fun things such as creating a fantasy notebook together can open new doors in your marriage, both in the bedroom and out of it.