And now, some more useless (and long overdue) info to crud up your hippocampus…
The focus of every trendy celebrity gossip site this month was no doubt on the announcement of the Donald Fagen, Michael McDonald, and Boz Scaggs collaborative “Dukes of September Rhythm Revue” concert . The show will feature the Grammy Award winning singer/songwriters covering classic R&B hits by the likes of David Ruffin and Curtis Mayfield. If I’m lucky, this concert may finally allow me to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing Steely Dan’s “Peg” performed live with Fagen singing and McDonald providing the background vocals! Okay, I admit, my dreams are small, sad, and extremely outdated.
Also outdated is the relevancy of Will Arnett. Arnett is starring in the new Fox sitcom “Running Wild,” a show with a concept so boring that I can’t even type about it here, because I will fall asleep at the keyboard. While the underused and still very relevant David Cross is wonderful as a misguided eco-terrorist, even his comedic genius cannot save this piece of garbage, and I am officially beginning the countdown to cancellation for this loser of a show. When will the networks realize that just because you put Will Arnett in something, it does not automatically make it “Arrested Development?” I remember, in the late nineties, when the major networks, for some unknown reason (extortion perhaps?), just had to shove Tea Leoni into a variety of different expediently cancelled shows in different forms and fashions until they finally got it through their thick, corporate skulls that WE DON’T WANT HER! Will Arnett, I am now proclaiming you the Tea Leoni of this century.
To me, you could tell that this show was bad before it even came out after hearing the following statement, printed in USA Today, by “Running Wild” co-star Keri Russell: “The best part of starring in ‘Running Wild’ are all of the laughs on the set.” That’s all you need to know to realize that this was going to be an AWFUL show–no one who makes anything worth watching EVER has ANY fun while making it. Ever watch the outtakes of any movie starring both Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise? Did it appear that anyone in the world was having more fun on the set than those two guys? Was Cannonball Run a good movie? I rest my case.
Speaking of cases, basket case Lady Gaga recently wore a raw meat dress (yes, a dress made of actual raw meat) as she took the stage at the Video Music Awards . Gaga later offered this explanation of the style choice to Ellen Degeneres: “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in, and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat.” Um…what the $#%@&*? You had the bravado to wear a meat dress to an awards show and THAT is the message that you chose to deliver along with it? Like a connoisseur pairing wines, I can think of so many other messages that would have gone better with that particular dress. Just off the top of my head, you could have made a statement about the murderous aspect of leather, for instance. You could have used the opportunity to point out the prevalence of Mad Cow Disease. You could have made a statement about how women are often viewed simply as pieces of meat in an increasingly shallow society. Hell, you could have mildly cautioned as to the bacterial dangers of handling raw and cooked meat at the same time . But using THAT message with THAT dress was the biggest waste of shock value since Vincent Gallo squandered an authentic felatio scene with Chloe Sevigny on a ham-handed plot in his movie “Brown Bunny.” Sorry for the arcane reference, but, somewhere out there, a hipster is laughing.
Katy Perry recently laughed in the face of former crush Shane Lopes who, according to Perry, rejected her back in high school. A very proud-of-herself Perry pointed out Lopes after she spotted him in the audience of a concert that she was performing in front of her alma mater, Dos Pueblos High School in Goleta, California. “Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey . What’s up now, playa?” taunted Perry. That’s right, this came from the same woman who so wisely parlayed her celebrity into a marriage to former drug addict and admitted whoremonger Russell Brand.
In There-is-No-God news, Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback/dog killer extraordinaire Michael Vick has returned to the top of his game after being named a starter and was named Offensive (I’ll say) Player of the Month for September. Meanwhile, hero Pat Tillman is still dead as a result of “friendly fire.”
In There-is-a-God news, Michael Vick’s ribs were injured on the very first drive of the game , immediately following the announcement of his award. Vick is set to miss one to two weeks of action as a result. So, if we are applying the same methods that Vick applied to his dogs, now that he is hurt and no longer useful in combat, do we take Vick into the backyard , electrocute him until he is dead and then bury him? I’m just curious to know if we are still playing by the same rules, that’s all.
Note to CNN: You made a mistake in firing Rick Sanchez. Sure, the no-talent hack should have been fired a long time ago for a variety of different reasons, but the public controversy after his inflammatory statements about Jon Stewart being a “bigot” is exactly the time NOT to fire him. It always irks me when companies fire someone after they’ve said something ridiculously insensitive. There is no need to fire someone like Sanchez-people like him will eventually hang themselves. When you fire them, they become martyrs. No, CNN, I think you owed it to us all to let Sanchez’s stupidity marinate for a little while. Maybe I have a strange sense of humor (in fact, I know I do), but could you imagine the entertainment value of Sanchez having to awkwardly hang around after making the statement about the industry being “run by people like Stewart (meaning Jews)” as his Jewish boss watched over his shoulder as he interviewed a Jewish guest? And then there would be the cross-over effect on The Daily Show. Stewart’s a big boy, he doesn’t need protection of CNN, and I’d relish the opportunity to see him be able to blast Sanchez night after night. To me, that would have been the ultimate equalizer. Besides, isn’t it just a tad ironic that you chose to prove the absurdity of such a statement as “Jews run all of Hollywood” by firing someone the instant that they make a derogatory statement about a Jew?
Until next time, keep your head hidden in the bushes and your eyes on the stars..