Valentine’s Day. Love was in the air all around us, right? But on last night’s Bachelor episode, our boy Brad Womack spent some lengthy time in the dog house, and rightfully so. But let’s start with our girl, Emily, who’s about to endure yet another ride on an airborne vehicle on the first one-on-one date of the evening. This time it was a helicopter, however Emily still looked mighty apprehensive, if you ask me.
It seems that Brad spent a majority of the day trying to get Emily to agree to let him meet her daughter IF he chose her to go on the hometown dates. Emily was being all coy and “oh gee I don’t know” and “that’s a big step” etc. etc. I know she was being a protective Mom and all, but couldn’t she just tell her kid “Hey, kiddo, meet Brad. He’s a friend of Mommy’s”. Would that be so difficult? I understand that introducing her to a different man every weekend wouldn’t be a good idea, but isn’t Brad at least a little special to her? Brad seemed a tad insulted. Being the rebel that he is, Brad apparently broke The Bachelor rules by informing Emily that he was going to give her a rose at the next rose ceremony. Emily smiled. Emily smiled some more. Emily always smiles, doesn’t she?
The next one-on-one date was with Shawntel, and instead of being whisked away in a helicopter, they had to ride bikes. Oh, excuse me, they had the pleasure of riding their bikes around town. I like Shawntel. She reminds me of the cool girls in high school who don’t say much, but who knows how to let loose when the time is right. That night when they were jumping into the surf, we saw Shawntel’s sparkly bikini top and that tattoo on the small of her back. Yes, there’s more to Shawntel than meets the eye.
One-on-one date number three was with Britt. Britt has such long gorgeous hair, but of course when Brad came to pick her up, she had it all scrunched up in a scraggly bun. Of course. Britt didn’t have to pedal her way around town on her date. There was an actual yacht waiting for them out in the water. The yacht was beautiful, but unfortunately, it took them to a place where there was a huge cliff that Brad wanted to jump off of and into the water. Britt acted all “yeah let’s do it” until she stood at the top of that cliff and looked down. I felt so sorry for her just then. She was being asked to risk slamming her body against the side of a rocky mountain in order to be a good sport for our boy Brad waiting in the water below. Britt did it, but I really thought she was going to back out at the last minute.
Alas, Britt’s courage didn’t win her many points with Brad, since during their date, we were privy to Brad’s words of disappointment that he didn’t feel very amorous towards her. In other words, he didn’t feel like jumping her bones. At dinner that evening, he started to tell her, but Britt was clueless. She interrupted him one time to tell him that the day was amazing and couldn’t have gone better. Well, Britt, apparently it could have because Brad sent you away on some sort of life boat all by yourself in order to go back to the mansion and pack your bags. That must have been so difficult to go back there and face the girls. It would have been better to just be able to leave and let one of those mysterious butlers come and grab your bags while the other girls gasped in horror. Poor Britt.
So the dreaded group date this week consisted of Michelle, Chantal and Ashley. The day started off terribly, at least in my opinion. Brad thought it would be a barrel of fun to wake the girls up at the crack of dawn, so he did. And it was still dark out. I would not have been real charming at that time in the morning, but the three girls did their best to look pleased at Brad for waking them up out of a sound sleep and while they weren’t looking their best. The girls were on their way to a photo shoot for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
The day went from bad to worse. A team of people were there to doll up the girls for the camera and Ashley went first. They were being photographed in their bikinis on the beach. Ashley is cute, but doesn’t have much of a figure. Somehow they convinced her to take off her bikini top and hide her tiny breasts with two sea shells. I think it was suppose to be sexy, but it really wasn’t.
Next up was Chantal, who has a figure where no two sea shells were going to cover up HER breasts. So she had to use her hands and her arms, and her photos turned out to be very sexy. In the meantime, Michelle was telling herself that there was no way in hell that she was going to take off her top, but she still wanted to do something that bested the other girls. And damn if she didn’t figure out a way to do that. She pulled Brad down in the sand with her, along the water’s edge, and proceeded to climb on top of him and make out with him. Brad wasn’t crying for help.
Off on the sidelines, both Ashley and Chantal were pretty upset and angry, watching that whole scenario. When Brad finally came out of his erotic trance, he happened to remember there were two other girls on this “date” and that they were not very happy. Hence, the dog house that Brad was very much into for most of the day.
All afternoon Brad tried his best to make it up to Ashley and Chantal. He did a good job making it up to Ashley by giving her the group date rose. Chantal didn’t like that too much and for the first time, I totally understood her tears. She told Brad that if he couldn’t even choose her out of three girls, then he might as well just send her home. But apparently Brad didn’t want to and reminded her that there were more roses at the rose ceremony that night.
Michelle managed to spend a few minutes with Brad poolside that afternoon and she heard Brad telling her that he was worried they were too much alike and other grumblings. So Michelle was hell bent to talk to Brad that night at the cocktail party in order to get things back on track between them. But Brad had other plans.
Brad had a little pow-wow with Chris Harrison and told him that the cocktail party that night would just be a disaster, and since he already knew who he was going to send home, he just wanted to go straight to the rose ceremony. So they did.
Lo and behold, Michelle was sent home. You could have blown me over with a feather. I was happy about that, don’t get me wrong. I just didn’t think Brad was going to think with his real head and not, well you know what I mean. I had to laugh when Brad said something like he knew he and Michelle would always have a “volatory” relationship. Haha. I think he meant to say “volatile” relationship, since Mr. Merriam Webster never heard of the word “volatory”. But we knew what Brad meant. Michelle was pissed, to say the least. She wouldn’t even hold his hand on her way out to the limo of shame. And she wouldn’t even talk to him. She wouldn’t even talk to the camera guy inside the limo and cry like most of the girls do. She just laid her head down on the seat and still looked pissed. She’s one scary girl, I tell ya.
So Brad is going on the hometown dates with Ashley, Chantal, Emily and Shawntel. I think Brad is going to have a pretty rough time facing the families of the girls, especially given his track record. If MY daughter was bringing Brad home, I’d have him for lunch. And then some. Can’t wait to find out what kind of reception Brad gets from these families. Next time…