There’s a very famous saying that goes like this… “Don’t get involved with anyone who doesn’t have as much to lose as you do”.
Married men have a lot more to worry about when cheating with a single gal, but that doesn’t hold him back. He wants the sex, the thrill, the excitement.
It’s an age old occurrence. You’ve heard these women called “Gumma’s” on the Soprano’s and from the time of Caesar they were called Mistresses and Concubine’s…as long as there has been married men, there has been women outside the marriage they have had relationships with.
You meet married me in the work place, the grocery store, anywhere men and women mingle inevitably there’s always someone making a connection with someone of the opposite sex. Now with face book and other social networks, it’s hard to lose touch with people and a relationship can spark anytime and people can remain on your “friend” list forever.
Relationships evolve over time or in an instant. Right time, right place. When the connection is made with the opposite sex, it’s not always that easy to detect whether that other person is married or single. Sometimes at the time of the meeting, you both don’t feel it’s necessary to let each other know your status, because you feel it may spoil the chemistry. Whatever the reason I will give you some insight on what you can look forward to in dating and having a relationship with a married man.
Men like to feel sexy. They need to know at any age that they still ‘got it’. Their marriages may be good but the sex has gotten stale. They might like to experiment with different things and their spouses are just not into it or they are embarrassed to ask them to do kinky things. Men, like animals, like sniffing around women and having sex with many women. It’s an animalistic response.
In 1987 there was the second highest grossing film called Fatal Attraction starring Michael Douglas and Glenn Close. The film grossed over 320 million dollars for this sex thriller and it won 6 academy awards. It was a story that was interesting to every man and woman across continents.
Why? It’s difficult for some men to stay with one woman their whole life and just have one person to just have sex with. For women, married men are easy prey. They are easy to please because you know what they want from you. Women have a harder time getting a single man, they are pickier and so a woman may not have patience for that and just focus on the easier prey, married men. Often times, Women feel they are coming to the rescue when they can please a married man, so they both find fulfillment in this unorthodox relationship.
Here are 6 reasons why you shouldn’t get involved with a married man:
1. He’s not really yours. You will be at his mercy with scheduling your rendezvous around his wife’s schedule. You will be waiting for him and being alone and lonely most of the time.
2. It’s all secret. What’s wrong with having a secret relationship, you say? When you start getting closer to him and falling in love, you will want to tell your friends and family and will want to go out in public. He can’t do that because he needs to keep the relationship secret from his wife and anyone who knows him.
3. You will never rate. In other words, you will get the sloppy seconds. Yes, you have to be comfortable with your married man “double dipping” and yes, I mean his penis. You have to know that he is having all the same intimacy with his wife as he is having with you. He will try and downplay his sex life with his wife, but ultimately, he is going home to her, sleeping with her and playing house with her not you.
4. You will essentially take yourself off the market. You will grow older by the day, month, year(s) you are with this married man and saving yourself for a relationship that may never happen. I mean, he may tell you he wants to leave his wife eventually when the kids grow up, or when she gets over her depression, or after her surgery or whatever, but, too many times he will stay with his wife. He will string you along for a long time without making a commitment to you . You are a fling. He likes that thrill and if it’s not you it’s someone else.
5. What will you do if his crazed wife finds out about you in a low moment of marriage therapy or truth or dare between him and his wife and he spills the beans about you? What will you do when she calls you at work, leaves dirty descriptive answering machine messages at your home, calls your parents, your employer, and your friends and tells everyone of your disgusting relationship with her husband? Don’t think this will never ever happen? Think again.
His wife will sniff out another woman and when she does, she will confront him when he least expects it. She will threaten to take all his money and the house and the kids, so he agrees to go to therapy with her. They talk about any extra marital relationships and you pop up. He can’t help himself, men are lured to tell the truth in these scenarios and she goes ballistic and insists on knowing your name, address, phone number, where you work and then you are the target. He feels a temporary relief that he’s told her the truth and the emphasis is now on someone else…you. This could happen while you are seeing him or years down the road, even after you have broken off and have gotten into a serious relationship authentic and consensual with another single man. Your life might be in the best place it’s been and then this lunatic comes in and stirs it up and drags you through the mud like a common whore.
6. He has the upper hand; he controls the relationship. Sure, seeing a woman outside his married is thrilling and the sex is incredible. You and he make a connection that makes you both feel great and exhilarated. You are essentially his toy. Usually temporary until he’s tired of playing with you or you get too serious or there’s a chance his wife might find out. He can end this relationship with you at any time and he will never have disturbed his life or marriage. You will be left alone and depressed and there’s nothing you can do about it.
As long as there are married men there will be men seeking relationships with women. The hard facts as you read above have to be understood and ground rule have to be spoken when initiating this type of relationship so no one gets hurt.
Fatal Attraction, 1987 film directed by Adrian Lyne.