Some people find trust an incredibly hard thing to give in a relationship. The big problem with this is that trust is one of the key elements in a healthy partnership. If you are always suspicious about your partner’s whereabouts and jealous whenever you find out he is talking to another woman, you will know how time consuming those feelings can be. Jealousy can quickly take over your entire life if you let it. You may have tried to find ways to cope with your negative thoughts in the past, but have you ever tried looking at them from a different angle? The fact is, jealousy is a waste of time and here are a few reasons why.
The first and most obvious reason that jealousy is a waste of time is that it hurts. If you get worried over every tiny little incident, you will be unhappy all the time. Emotional pain isn’t the only problem either. Sometimes when people feel jealous, the pain can manifest itself in other ways by turning into a physical ailment. In my younger days, I used to get terrible stomach pain when I was jealous, and most of the time it was over nothing. I eventually realized that I didn’t want to spend my life torturing myself into a state of misery, and my current relationship is a much happier one.
Stalking takes up a lot of time
One of the most dangerous parts of jealousy is the temptation to stalk your partner. I say “dangerous” because it never, ever leads to anything good. When you begin rifling through his computer, his phone or his car, all you are doing is giving yourself added reasons to be worried. What if you find an email from a woman? A phone number you don’t recognize? Sure, you could check it out but when it turns out that it was perfectly innocent, you’ll feel like a fool and will have wasted countless hours of searching for nothing. There is also the chance that your partner will find out that you have been snooping and he might not accept it as a cute quirk. More likely, he will be upset by your lack of trust.
You’re highlighting the positives of the “other woman”
Let’s be honest. We all feel unattractive sometimes; it’s part of being a woman! But when the threat of another comes along, it only serves to make that feeling worse. You will likely see the “other woman” as being better looking, more intelligent and/or thinner than you. This can lead to you saying things like, “Why wouldn’t you want to be with her? She’s got a great figure, but I’m fat.” By saying these things, or even just thinking them, you are doing yourself a disservice. Focusing on the strengths of someone you consider a rival will achieve nothing except making you feel worse about yourself.
It turns you into a grouch
Whenever I was jealous in my previous relationships, it put me in a foul mood. Nothing was funny, everything annoyed me and all I wanted to do was stew on the problem until it was over. Unfortunately, the only way it will ever really be over is if you stop letting the jealousy take over. Nobody likes being grumpy all the time, and it can really irritate your friends and family too. Why spend time brooding over something that you have no proof of when you could be enjoying yourself?
It doesn’t change anything
This may sound like a harsh way to view things, but it is the truth. Being jealous won’t make your man any more or less likely to have a fling behind your back. If he is going to lie to you, he will do so whether or not you suspect him. If he isn’t going to cheat on you, you are worrying unnecessarily. Being jealous and suspicious is simply a useless activity with an outcome you cannot control, no matter how much you think about.
When you break it down, it’s obvious that jealousy is a waste of time. The chances are, you know this already. Tackling it is a much bigger problem. Someone once said, “Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have.” So why pay the price of suffering over something that might never happen?
More from Karen:
Negative Impacts of Low Self Esteem on Relationships
Ways To Deal With Your Jealousy
3 Ways Romantic Board Games Can Enhance Your Relationship