During my research into foods that rev up one’s sex drive, I was forced to step into the world of the counterargument. Many writers tout the five foods below as good for stimulating sex. But let me disagree.
1. Garlic. We all know, or should know by now, that garlic is good for us. It’s a super food, rich in antioxidants and minerals, has antimicrobial properties, etc. But let’s be honest. Even if it does do wonders to stimulate sexual response, the truth is no one wants to kiss someone who is reeking of the stuff. Heck, we chase vampires away with garlic cloves, because even vampires know that garlic breath is anti-sexual.
2. Oysters. Yes, oysters contain high amounts of zinc. Yes, zinc increases testosterone and sperm count.1 Yes, for maximal sexual affect, you should eat these marine mollusks raw…Can you see where this is going? Oysters are perhaps the most disgusting food on the planet. And you have to eat them raw? And then you barf. And after that, you can bring on the love.
3. Celery. Weird to think of celery as a libido food, but it sort of is. Sort of. Celery contains androstenone, a hormone with pheromone-like characteristics that is released through the body’s perspiration and urine. The problem is, according to alpadominance.com, the “signal seems to be attractive to women [only] around ovulation, but repugnant or undetectable to many at other phases of [their] cycle.”2 The key word here is repugnant. Basically, because androstenone is an musky steroid, you run the risk of smelling sweaty or urine-licious next to the one you want to smell good around.
4. Soy. Soy may be healthy for you, but it has high levels of plant estrogen,3 and research has shown that estrogen interferes with sexual arousal.4 Testosterone, to a large extent, is the sex drive hormone in both males and females. That’s why people kiss, so the man can pass testosterone from his saliva to the woman. Also, soy is a legume, a bean. Enjoying a can of beans out on the open prairie may be occasionally okay, but consuming anything that ferments in your digestive track eventually means big trouble in bed. If you catch my drift.
5. Liver. Liver contains good levels of glutamine, an amino acid which may ramp up one’s sex drive. Nevertheless, I didn’t eat liver when I was a kid, because it grossed me out. And I won’t eat it now. If a scantily clad seductress prepared liver fried with olive oil and onions, it would still gross me out. I don’t have any statistics to back this up, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one who feels this way about bloody cow organs. Pass.
Garlic, raw oysters, fermenting soy, and liver-washed down with a odor inducing celery stick. These are five foods your sex drive can do without.