Want to learn three tips most articles won’t tell you about? Read on to learn a little bit of applied psychology.
1. Don’t Pile on the Similarities First
Relationships grow when both parties have strengths which may inspire and compliment one another. This much is obvious. That said, it’s entirely possible both parties may be skilled at the same hobby, such as photography, and assist one another in that field.
However, while sharing a hobby is important in relationships, they are less important when meeting and trying to impress your boyfriend’s family for the first time. Think about it for a moment. What are the chances your boyfriend’s family already think he’s a prodigy in whatever field he’s been interested in? If your boyfriend’s family cares about him, it’s highly likely have an idea (misguided or otherwise) that he’s a super star in whatever hobby with which he’s been experimenting, whether your boyfriend’s family wants to admit to such a fact or not.
This presents a number of possible problems previously unexamined. No matter how skilled you are in your shared hobby, your boyfriend’s family is automatically going to compare your talent with his. You probably do not need anyone to inform you it is highly likely your boyfriend’s family will deduce you are less capable (even if they are kind and pleasant people), either subconsciously or in a painfully obvious way. It really is not your boyfriend’s family’s fault, it is just basic human behavior. It’s safe to assume they love their son and, especially if your boyfriend has a more protective family, be a little skeptical about you. They’re judging whether you are good enough so it’s likely they will not assume you are better.
Therefore, discussing a shared hobby means a strong likelihood you will not impress your boyfriend’s family. Furthermore, if your boyfriend’s family is more protective, not only will you not impress them, but you may even scare them into thinking your influence may alter his genuis'”oh no!
You may be asking yourself if this advice is still pressing if you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you certainly are capable in whatever hobby or field you and your boyfriend share. Surely this will impress your boyfriends parents and be an excellent introduction?
This completely depends on how capable your boyfriend is in your shared hobby or profession. If you both own a booming photography company, for example, and are totally evenly matched, perhaps such a fact may impress his parents. However, if you are clearly more qualified, you may intimidate your boyfriend’s family far more than impress. Your boyfriend’s parents and relatives do not want to worry about their male kin feeling emasculated or belittled or less successful. If you are more capable, you may only really impress your boyfriend’s family more than scare if you are about to offer him some sort of opportunity which will assist in cultivating his interests.
This may seem a bit dramatic and it is obvious some families would prefer their boy share a hobby with their girlfriend. However, it is advisable to not admit to sharing a hobby first. Build a report with your boyfriend’s family. Once you have won your boyfriend’s family over, inform them that you too enjoy whatever it is your boyfriend enjoys, ensuring that they will trust and like you enough to assume you are qualified and therefore impressive. Just do not start off with such information because it may cause subconscious but avoidable resentment.
2. Be complimentary, not a copycat
While you may impress your boyfriend’s family by having things in common, it’s important his parents and relatives see you as someone who can add and not just mimic. You can’t impress your boyfriend’s family by being a carbon copy. Instead, make a point to talk about interests, hobbies, and projects which may compliment your boyfriend’s interests. For example, if your boyfriend is a photographer and you’re a dancer, you may impress his parents and relatives by showing that while you also have a passion in art, you have your own independent concentrations. This will impress because it will make you seem more strong and self-sufficent, while implying that you will respect your boyfriend requires time to himself to follow his own interests. Such impressive complimentary relationships tell your boyfriend’s family that you are not clingy.
3. Dress like you have a mature understanding of sex.
In order to impress someone’s family, people may dress so conservatively that they could pass for extras on “Little House on the Prairie”. Unless you’re boyfriend’s family is incredibly strict, covering yourself from head to toe in garments which are not the least bit sexually flattering will most likely either make them think that there is something the matter with you or that you are purposely trying to pass yourself off as something you are not. Rather than impress, this will confuse or annoy. While it’s true you should not dress as though you are about to attend a night club, select clothing which demonstrates to your boyfriend’s family that you realize you are a sexual being but you do not feel compelled to dress slutty to prove it. Looking smart without looking desperate will impress your boyfriend’s family far more than dressing as if you’re running in a political campaign.